I'm totally guilty of being best friends with my mom. I mean what can I say, I just love that woman to pieces! Here's a few things that all daughters that are best friends with their mom know all too well!
1. Your mom is the first person you call when anything exciting happens in your life.
2. You've definitely ditched plans with your friends to hang out with her.
4. You ask for her opinion on basically every decision you make, big or small. And you value her opinion greatly.
5. Your inside jokes are the best jokes.
6. The biggest compliment is when people tell you, "you look just like your mom!" or "you get it from your mom!".
7. All your friends thinks she's the coolest mom ever. They basically hang out with you so they can hang out with her too.
8. You tell each other everything. I mean literally, EVERYTHING.
9. You've got each other's back. And she's especially got yours, because if someone messes with her little girl, momma bear is comin' out.
11. You never leave the house or hang up the phone without saying "I love you".
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There are friends. Then, there are best friends.
According to "Grey’s Anatomy’s" Meredith Grey and Cristina Yang, they're your person. The one who, “if I murdered someone, I’d call you to help me drag the corpse across the living room floor.” You’re so much more to me than any of those titles can express.
As I’ve matured throughout the years, I’ve come to the conclusion that good friends with good hearts serve an incredibly important purpose in our lives, going above and beyond what we give them credit and appreciation for.
The family we choose. You’re one of those.
The day we met, I knew that you were going to play an important role in my life. What I had no idea of was that you would join the cast of my life with a starring role.
First, I need to say thank you. Thank you for always coming to my locker to check in before class during high school. Thank you for letting me control the music on road trips. Thank you for sharing your family with me, and addressing my family as if you were born into it.
Thank you for patiently listening to the physical embodiment of a broken record when I complain about the same boy I’ve loved since senior year. Thank you for tagging along on every doctor’s appointment, grocery run, and trip to the post office, just because you know that I hate doing things alone.
Thank you for not thinking twice before dialing when I text you “please call me.” Thank you for never saying no to a coffee date. Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for being my better half.
We don't share the same genetic makeup, but after all the sleepovers, heart-to-heart conversations, shopping until our bank accounts cry, and swapping clothes so often that we don’t know what belongs to whom, how could I not consider you family? We have shared some my fondest memories together, and I wouldn’t want them to feature anyone but you.
You’ve been with me on my best days, and loved me on my worst. You know how to make me laugh when all I want to do is crawl into a hole and die.
Picturing sitting in my car with you in the passenger seat makes me long for summer, where we spend three months together doing all of our favorite things. You’ve seen me naked, done my makeup, and warned me before making a poor decision. Being away from you for extended periods of time makes me feel incomplete.
You are a piece of me that I am not quite whole without. You taught me that blood doesn’t make a family; love does.
You know me better than I know myself, which is both amazing and terrifying. You make me realize I’m enough for this world, and that means more to me than I know how to express in the limited words that make up the English language.
You remind me that I am more than my mistakes, and you keep me grounded when I spiral out of control. You’ve helped me carry my burdens along with your own, even when the universe comes down on you full force, way harder than you deserve.
You’re the one I come to for the truth if I think my new dress makes me look fat, and I know you’ll be honest. I trust you with my whole heart. You know the gory details about every boy I’ve ever crushed on, every professor who was an absolute jerk, and every fight I’ve had with my mom.
I wouldn’t make it in this life without someone who already understands and listens to every thought going through my head and each thing I seriously over think, even when you know, though you don’t say, it won’t matter in a week.
With all these affectionate things being said, don’t forget our fights. The few we’ve had were very real. We still don’t see eye to eye on some events of the past, but I never told my mom about it because there was no need to make her choose a side between me and her “second daughter.”
We have learned to move forward, because the love we have for each other overwhelmingly outweighs any disagreement we’ve had, and always will.
Through all the tears and laughs, I don’t think that anything the world has to offer could seriously come between us. You go to a different school than me now, and college has rudely gotten in the way of our routine of spending every waking moment together.
Since we met, we’ve grown separately without growing apart. Neither of us are the same person we used to be all those years ago. Even so, we’ve pushed each other to our limits and you’ve given me the courage to keep going and do things that make me happy.
We lean on each other when it’s been a bad day and all we want to do is to snuggle and indulge in whichever show the other is currently watching unceasingly and unabashedly for comfort (it’s the little things). Having you as my co-pilot on this crazy ride called life has been frustrating, exciting, slightly concerning, absolutely insane, and something I don’t know how I would live without, and I don’t intend to find out.
I’ll conclude this letter with a quote from every basic, white girl’s favorite musical, “I don’t know if I’ve been changed for the better, but because I knew you, I have been changed for good.”
Love you forever,
You rearrange your life around these sorts of things, but sometimes, it still isn’t enough.
Grief comes in waves. It comes at the most random and unexpected times. It could be years after your loved one has passed, but you find yourself crying on your commute to work, in the shower, or eating your breakfast.
Staple holidays like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day release many undiscovered emotions to the surface.
Every person is different. Every family has their own unique situation. For the first year celebrating these holidays without a loved one, you may not want to celebrate at all. You may want to carry on traditions or create new ones.
It’s never easy trying to balance what each of your family members is comfortable with. The uniqueness of grief serves as a blessing and a curse. Having that conversation with your family, and being able to come to a consensus on holidays, birthdays, and other life events will make the process much smoother. Some things aren’t actually better left unsaid.
Regardless – listening to your heart will help you heal in the healthiest way possible.
So often, we shove our emotions away and try to grieve publicly in a way that pleases everyone else. We like to make sure everyone else knows we’re doing well, and honoring the memory of our lost loved one. Sometimes, we really aren’t okay with a Facebook post, or a bouquet of flowers, or an afternoon at brunch. No honorary tribute will magically heal a person.
For some, Mother’s Day or Father’s Day may hold no meaning. For others, it may be the most difficult day of the year. And it may become more difficult than anticipated once you realize you’re celebrating without that parent.
It’s okay to be selfish with your grief.
Grieve in a way that comforts you. After losing my mother, I was so focused on making sure my grief was acceptable for everyone else that I lost sight of how I actually felt.
You owe no one a Facebook post, nor a brunch or a bouquet of flowers. Visit a place your loved one used to love to take you to. Try making their favorite food. Honor their traditions. Spend time with your extended family. Do whatever will comfort you on an unexpectedly difficult day, no matter how untraditional that may be.
Remember that your grief is yours. As long as you aren’t harming yourself or others, you owe no explanations for how you choose to cope. It is a delicate and personal thing that you can share or keep to yourself as much as you need to. Taking the time to care for yourself is a vital factor of self care and grieving.
For those that have the privilege of celebrating Mother’s and Father’s Day with their mother or father – cherish these moments. For those celebrating without a parent – focus on what will comfort and satisfy you. Honor your own wishes just as much as your lost loved one. Trust your process – you know yourself much better than you may think.