11 Dating Disasters That You Can Overcome

11 Dating Disasters That You Can Overcome

No matter what the dilemma can be, you will always come out stronger on the other side.

Single or taken, playing the field or being wooed by a new mate, we’ve all had our share of dating duds. Before we click with the right someone, it can certainly take a journey to get there. Some longer than others, and often more than once do we find ourselves down a path that’s going nowhere.

Dating can seem endless. It can seem like all the good ones are taken, or just the ones you’re interested in. It can feel pointless if you’re not in a relationship or everyone else is but you. It can feel like a game you can’t win, when it’s not really the competition it’s made out to be.

These missteps and failures when it comes to finding the “one” or at least someone can feel like a huge waste of time. But like I always try to find the silver lining, I believe it is possible in romantic scenarios as well. For every bad experience, there is a lesson to be learned after all. No matter what the scenario you can always find a way that it made you better in the long run.

1)You got stood up on a date.

It’s hard to not take this personally as a sign of rejection. Who knows why it had to happen to you? Maybe you did do something wrong, or maybe that person just didn’t feel they could bring themselves to meet with you. You can drive yourself crazy thinking of all the possible reasons or b.s excuses, but ultimately the person is a coward who couldn’t even tell you why. You don’t want that kind of person in your life anyway. Next.

2) You said “I love you” and they didn’t say it back.

To be completely vulnerable about your feelings for someone and to not have that same response is heartbreaking. It doesn’t have to mean your relationship is completely over. It may mean the person needs more time to get to that place, or wants to be sure of their feelings before acting too quickly. But if their response isn't met with sincere care and trying to assure you that they appreciate your feelings, then it could be a sign that you two aren’t on the same page. You need to be able to tell your partner anything, and if they can't ever see a possibility of loving you then it can help you recognize that you need to be with someone who could. It helps you not waste your time.

3) You’re leading on someone that you could potentially be more than you are right now.

This can be hard if you don’t notice you’re doing it. So if there’s a slight chance you feel like you could or even more obvious if someone points this out to you, the last thing you can do is ignore it because it will only get worse. It sucks when someone’s pining for you and you can’t reciprocate those feelings, but ultimately addressing that is crucial. It can help you become more upfront about your emotions and save both of you a lot of awkwardness if you’re honest about it.

4) You’re leading on more than one person.

One is bad enough, but three definitely becomes a crowd once you start attracting more than one suitor. The odds won’t be in your favor as it takes two to tango. Casual dating can be fun and a change for you, but once someone’s intentions with you are known it’s important to recognize the value in that. People’s hearts aren’t meant for you to toy around with, and why you may be the subject of adoration it doesn’t make you powerful and others submissive. It sucks to have to limit your choices sometimes when you luckily have great options in front of you, but ultimately something will have to give. And hey it must mean you’re pretty damn likeable so that’s something.

5) You got back together with an ex.

The one thing you’re told not to do and yet you do it anyway. It’s perfectly natural and tempting to do so. When you’re with someone for a long period of time, it can be hard to get rid of them so fast. You want to hold on even more so and not let go. It’s important to not beat yourself up over it. You’re human. You want to not feel lonely, but loved. Just remember that feeling of returning to someone familiar is temporary, and may not last as long a second time around. You're meant to move on and will.

6) You tried being friends with benefits with your ex.

Again, can feel like a step in the wrong direction, and most likely will always be. You can sleep with your ex as much as you want and call it casual, but likely either one or both people’s feelings will resurface. It’s just delaying the outcome of fully separating for good. But if you’re not ready to let go, it’s okay. You will reach a breaking point, sometimes slowly breaking away in this transitioning of relationship will help you come to terms with ending the relationship for good.

7) You met someone online who you really aren’t into, but continue to see.

This similarly goes along the lines of leading someone on. What makes this different is there’s more of a mutual understanding that you’re both passing time, casually dating. There’s no real expectation of a relationship or starting something serious. It can be perfectly normal to have phases like this where neither of you have any great prospects and are looking for a way to pass the time. These meaningless flings or filler relationships can help lead to realize what you really want, and in the right direction of who is more right for you.

8) You had a one night stand that you regret.

It may be weird cause it’s something you typically don’t do or weird because it was something you didn’t plan. Whatever the case, there really isn’t shame in it. Sometimes you know what you want out of someone and it doesn’t have to be a big deal or lead to something. It just depends what you’re looking for. You don’t always have to make things out more than you want them to be. It can remind you that you don’t have to pressure yourself to continue to be romantic with someone you don’t want to full-term. You’re good, you’re fine with moving on.

9) You got cheated on.

This can also be a hard thing to come to terms with especially when you move into future relationships. There’s a blame on yourself as well as why you put a trust in someone who betrayed it. It can put you in a tailspin, but it also helps alert you into how this person really feels about you and how much you’re willing to put up with someone you love. It forces you to reexamine your relationship as well as how your vulnerability can be used against you. People who love or care about you can take you for granted.

10) You cheated on your significant other.

On the opposite end, there can also be where you take someone for granted. You feel good with what you have, and want more, or you’re not feeling good with what you have and want more. You’re always going to want more from people, or be tempted to see far you can get away with something. Ultimately, your choices will catch up with you. It just depends how much you’re willing to risk your current relationship for a different opportunity. And if you’re always wanting more, maybe it’s time to reflect on why one person isn’t good enough for you.

11) Your best friend and significant other hooked up.

This feels very much like every person’s worst nightmare of when two people you’re extremely close to betray you. It happens more often than not otherwise we wouldn’t have so many television shows and movies showing it. It is a real possibility and honestly shows a lot about people’s character. Like everything else, it probably shows a different side to those you thought you knew that you may not have found out about otherwise. It can be the worst betrayal ever, but can also be the best wake-up call that people who have your back don’t. And you don’t need to waste anymore of your time with people who don’t value and respect you with something that would hurt you so much.

No matter what the dilemma can be, you will always come out stronger on the other side. Reflection is meant to come from such experiences. The pain and embarrassment will pass, and you will be able to walk back into your next romantic endeavor more experienced and prepared to take on whatever comes at you next.

Cover Image Credit: https://www.headspace.com/blog/category/relationships/

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10 Reasons Your Big Sister Is The Best Person In Your Life

"There is no better friend than a sister, and there is no better sister than you."

As much as I hate to admit it, my big sister might be sort-of, slightly, cooler than I am.

Sometimes. She's the one I call when I can't call mom and the only one in the family who can properly handle my attitude. Big sisters are the people you'd choose if they weren't already family, and here's why.

1. She is your first and truest friend.

Big sisters are (literally) there from day one. They see every dirty diaper, every bad haircut, and every melodramatic breakup. They deal with every bad day and drama queen attitude and still love you in the most unconditional way.

2. Her closet is your closet.

For some reason, her clothes always look better on you. Funny how that works, huh? With a big sister comes a big closet, and who doesn't love having a double wardrobe? I'd also like to take this opportunity to apologize for the clothes I will never give back (but I'm not really that sorry).

3. She knows what it's like to deal with your parents.

Anything you could possibly be going through, they went through it first. It's kind of like having an instruction manual or a key to the future. Either way, it's always nice to have someone who will always understand the struggle.

4. There are no boundaries.

Wanna dance around in your underwear all day? Cool. Life talks while she's on the toilet? Also cool. There's no awkward moments or changing in the bathroom with the door locked. There's just the kind of freedom that only comes with siblings.

5. Thanks to her, you know about all of the cool movies/music/fashion trends from years back.

Thanks to my sister, I have every Too $hort and Ludacris song you could ever think of downloaded on my phone. I've seen every cheesy '90s movie, and when a fad from 10 years ago comes back in, I already have the hookup.

6. She tells you like it is.

We all have those friends who tend to sugarcoat everything. Yeah, sisters don't do that. She's the first person to tell me when I'm making a terrible decision and that I really shouldn't triple text that boy again. She keeps it real with me and deals with my attitude, and that's why she's the best.

7. Her home is always open.

Sometimes you just need to get away from life and binge watch Netflix, and sometimes you need all of that plus your sister. She always has her door open when you're two seconds away from losing your mind, and she also has good takeout and a dog.

8. She knows what you're capable of.

My sister knows exactly who I am and what I can do. She knows when I'm not doing my best, and when I need to be set straight. She's always there to remind me who I am and what I'm capable of accomplishing. She's always been my biggest fan.

9. She's a lot cheaper than therapy.

For some reason, my sister always knows just what to say. Even if I don't see it at the time, she's usually right (don't tell her I said that). Big sisters are like wizards, somehow they always magically make you feel like life's gonna turn out alright in the end. If she wasn't already awesome at everything else, I'd suggest she be a therapist.

10. She will always be your go-to gal.

No matter the situation, she will always be by your side. There is nothing you could say or do to make a big sister leave, and that's why they're the best. Whether it's a speeding ticket, a mean girl or you just need to laugh, big sisters are always going to be there to lift your spirits and set you straight.

I couldn't make it without ya sis, I'm sorry for ratting you out on Thanksgiving that one time, and for running away at the zoo. Thanks for taking me to see Aaron Carter even though he's way too old to still be singing "I want Candy," and thank you always for being the best role model, sister and friend I could ask for.

Cover Image Credit: teaser-trailer.com

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5 Reasons Why I Don't Want Kids

Procreating. It's not for everyone.


My cousin had a baby last August. She's absolutely beautiful and I love her to death, but she doesn't change my mind when it comes to wanting kids when I'm older. Truth is, I don't want kids. I'm sure everyone says this at some point in their life, and maybe I will change my mind in the future, but kids kind of freak me out.

Maybe I'm just not the most maternal person, but here's why having kids, at least for now, isn't on my bucket list.

1. Giving birth.

I know, I know, it's a beautiful thing, the miracle of life or whatever, but go watch a birthing video and then come tell me how beautiful it really is. Everything from a woman's water breaking, to actually giving birth just grosses me out, to be honest.

The thought of having to push something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of a lemon is just absolutely terrifying. I have a pretty average to above average pain tolerance, but no matter how well you can deal with pain, that shit is obviously not a pleasant experience.

2. The responsibility.

You have to do everything for babies, literally everything. Feed it, dress it, wash it, change it, put it to sleep, and you have to know what a baby wants when it wants it. If I had a baby and it started to cry, I would have no idea what to do. I know plenty of people say that once you have the baby, you automatically know which type of crying is for what need, but that makes no sense to me.

Do babies have different types of cries? How do you know which is which?

I consider myself a pretty responsible person when it comes time to be accountable for myself, but to be accountable for another life form?

I'll put it this way. I have two pet turtles. We got them when I was about twelve or so years old, and I remember being obsessed with them. That lasted for like maybe two weeks, and then I got bored with them, which meant I didn't take care of them. My parents did. Not the best analogy for obvious reasons, but I'm sure you understand what I'm trying to say. In other words, if I can barely take care of a pet, how would I ever be able to take care of a small human?

3. Kids are messy and loud.

Look, I'm not like a total clean freak or anything like that, but my mother definitely is. She used to disinfect sticks so my sister and I could roast marshmallows when we went camping for Girl Scouts. My point is, it's been drilled into my brain that everything has to be wiped down clean, and germs are not my friends.

I hate being around sick people; they freak me out, especially since I get sick so easily. If my baby or child were to get sick, I'd obviously still have to take care of it, which means wiping snot, cleaning vomit, and getting coughed on. I guarantee you, as soon as my child were to get better, I'd get sick.

Don't even get me started on changing dirty diapers.

Also, if there's anything I've learned from my cousin's baby thus far, it's that babies put everything in their mouths. Any object on the ground, their hands, and feet; nothing is safe. Babies don't understand sanitation, so it's not their fault, but I just know that if I had a kid, it would be in a plastic bubble so it could remain as clean as possible.

Babies are also very loud. Back when I worked at a diner, we used to have customers with little kids and babies all the time. If the kid was unhappy for any reason, that child would scream its head off. I never understood how such a big noise could come from such a small human.

4. Kids are expensive AF.

Kids are not cheap. They have an entire laundry list of stuff that needs to be bought for them, and they run out of supplies frequently. I can't imagine how much money people spend on things like diapers, formula, and clothes. Speaking of clothes, babies grow out things quickly. You get one or two good uses of an outfit and that's it. They outgrow it, and they can no longer use it.

Then, as they get older, you've got to think about school, eventually college, and extracurricular activities that they want to do, gifts for Christmas and other holidays. I say all of this, realizing how much my own parents have spent on me and my siblings (thanks, Mom and Dad).

5. Raising kids looks hard.

Knowing how much my sisters and I were pains in the asses for my parents, I can't imagine having to deal with that crap myself. The whole idea of shaping a child into a fully functioning member of society with good morals and conscience sounds like a lot of work.

There have been so many times where I would be at work and I'd have to deal with customers that have their kids with them, and these children are the biggest brats I've ever seen. Rude, disrespectful, obnoxious or disruptive; just the opposite of how kids should act in any public setting.

A big part of the reason I wouldn't want kids is that I see other people's kids and the way they act. It makes me just want to yell at the parents. At least I know that if I do ever decide to have kids, they'll be raised the way I want them to be and they'll behave the way they're supposed to. Appropriately.

In the big picture of things, whether or not you want kids is up to you. It's not meant for everyone and that's not the end of the world. I always get told that I don't mean it when I say I don't want kids, which isn't that big of a deal, but it can get annoying. In my opinion, if a person says they don't want kids, it's not because they think kids are like some evil being or anything like that. It's because they know their limits.

Growing a family is an amazing thing, but it's also different for everyone. No one should be judged for not liking or wanting to have kids. Everyone has different opinions. This one is just mine.


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