I lusted after having my belly button pierced for years before I was old enough to even think about having it done. I spent my entire prepubescent time thinking that having a jewel in your navel was a mark of beauty and rite of passage into some kind of untouchable coolness in womanhood. Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Beyonce, and Shakira all had them. All these magical, influential women in music could wear crop tops and swimsuits and literally sparkle while doing so. I, too, wanted to be influential and sparkly.

I remember the entire turn of events the night that piercing became a part of my body. I was 15, I thought I was such a bad ass for just a split second, and then I fainted. My parents went with me. My dad shook his head and paid for whatever had just happened while my mom held my head up and helped me sip an orange soda from the vending machine next to the books of tattoo templates on the wall. When I was finally able to stand up, my parents escorted me to the car and took me out for the dinner of fainting sparkly champions at Applebee’s (which remains one of the five fanciest restaurants in my hometown).

It has been 10 years, and my belly button piercing is still there. Did it do what I thought it would do for me as a child? Of course not, but it has been fun. There have been some weight fluctuations going on with my body over the past few years, and I don’t always keep a charm in the spot that remains available for it. What I can say is that when I look down and see my piercing, ring or no ring, it makes me smile and think about the times that I wanted one so badly. It makes me laugh to myself while I recall the night I had it done. I think about my childhood and the hilarious times I had with my family during my early teen years.

Ten years with a belly button piercing has taught me a lot about body confidence. It gives me the encouragement to wear a two piece swimsuit while society may encourage me not to do so. It tells me not to be ashamed if my clothes ride up in front of a stranger. Having this alteration to my body has made me less self-conscious about what has always been my main “problem area”. Besides, sometimes having your own little secret under your shirt can be a real confidence boost.