The term millennial has many implications -- some slightly demeaning and some full of hope. The millennials may represent the face of unity, but we are also facing an epidemic grander than any adult’s condescending comments: mental health. According to reports, 25 percent of college students have a diagnosable mental illness. I encourage you to keep this statistic in mind the next time your roommate, brother, or even professor exhibit behavior you can’t always recognize or understand. Statistically, someone you know is suffering, and you may not be aware of it.
Here, I’ve included a few ways to help your peers feel safe and comfortable in their environment and a couple helpful tips in case they don’t.
Foremost, love and patience go a long way.
Even if you don’t understand what’s going on with your friend (or yourself even!), just ask with sensitivity and love. Remember, they may not understand what they are feeling either. Just having someone let you know they are there and can listen will provide relief.
Don’t comment on people’s bodies.
Ever, really. Even if you intend to compliment someone, your comment may be triggering or hurtful to the person receiving it. It is best to limit comments on physical appearance. Instead, try to emphasize the non-physical accomplishments of your peers.
Not all mental illness looks the same.
Not everybody copes with their mental illness the same way. That means you won’t always be able to clearly identify what someone is experiencing because that’s how “anxiety looks” or “depression looks.” Mental health is broad and personal; it won’t always be identical.
Don’t try too hard to relate to them.
Each experience is unique and personal and while it is important to remind them that they are not alone, allow them to have their experience.
Remind your friend that there is hope and remember that recovery comes in waves.
Your friend may feel better, and then may not. Mental health requires the same rehabilitation and time (if not more) than a physical injury.
Tip: Breathing is key!
Remind your friend to focus on breathing and nothing else for five minutes. Then another, and another. Short time spans help control anxious feelings.
It is valid to feel sadness for what makes you sad.
Feel that. Then construct an alternative. Opposite actions, when in a state of crisis, is one of the best things you can do. Feel like staying in bed all day? Stay for an hour, then get up and go on a walk.
Remember that mental health and recovery is hard.
Your friend may not always be fun or the person you remember. That’s OK. Help them still.
Most importantly, all feelings are valid.
The bad, the sad, the irrational, the scary. Do not reduce someone’s experience. Do not tell them there are people who have it worse. Being a victim of your mind is ridiculously hard. Remember that.
Last, it is OK not to know everything and not to be prepared for everything.
You will make mistakes, so will I, and that’s okay. But, this issue affects so many that you must try to tread with sensitivity and love!
I have struggled with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. Some days they are merely components of my identity and some days they feel like they define it. I urge you all to shed the shame and stigma associated with mental illness. I urge you all to shed the picture of the hopeless, helpless victim. These people are warriors battling the world’s toughest competitor, the mind, and still being forced to show up. Applaud your fellow warriors and recognize them. And, remember, their struggle won’t always be visible.
