Dear Future Spouse,

I first want to say that I am so happy that I have finally found you! I have waited for you for so long and now that you are here I do NOT want to mess this up. In case you haven't noticed yet, I am very hard to love. My life has not been easy and while I am aware that there is no excuse for when I screw up, there are many reasons for why I am such a failure at communicating how I feel. Below I have compliled a list of things that make me who I am and why I may not be the best at always showing you how important you are to me and how far my love for you extends. So, if you ever find that you have become angry, or I have become angry and done something dramatic like storm out on you or I have made a fool of myself in front of your friends please consult the following list for how to succeed in helping me to see the error of my ways. I love you and I promise I'll make it up to you.

1. The quickest way to make me forget I was angry is with pizza.

Seriously, I don't know what it is about the combination of bread, smashed tomatoes, various spices, and cheese that makes me so content, but it will instantly mellow me out. Bonus points for you if you get stuffed crust.

2. Kiss me to shut me up.

When I start rambling about how confused I am, how not thoughtful I think you're being, or anything like that JUST KISS ME! Not only will it stop my inevitable word vomit, but I will melt in your arms and calm down. This will most likely lead to cuddling and me saying I'm sorry thousands of times.

3. If whatever I am angry about seems trivial it just means I am insecure about it.

Insecurity is something that everyone deals with, I get that. For someone like me who is generally confident experiencing something like this scares me. Chance are I will take it out on you, which I know isn't fair, believe me. Just know that I am trying and will continue to do so.

4. I LOVE PUPPIES!

I mean, who doesn't love the adorable balls of fur that seem to have magic healing powers. Not that your kisses aren't amazing, but their's make me see the world through rose colored glasses again. If this is an optiong and the pizza has not worked this is a definite! They also are just adorable and perfect (we will probably have five).

5. I may not always be able to articulate how I feel.

I am good with words until they matter. There will be times that I want to tell you how important you are to me. I will want to show you that I am beyond grateful to have you in my life and how scared I am that one day you may be. I will want to shout to the world that I have found my sould mate and I am finally happy, but words will fail me. Please understand that my inability to articulate these feelings is not a lack thereof. It just means that my love for you is to profound to place into common wording.

6. Vulnerability scares me.

As the person who is always strong, letting you past the walls that I have put up is one of the scariest things that I can do. See, if I let you in, that give you the ability to tear my heart out of my chest and do damage that I have sworn to myself that I would never let happen again. If and when I show you this side of me, please understand that I am showing you a trust that is unprecedented. Please, do not make me regret showing this to you.

7. Never underestimate the power of a blanket burrito.

I don't understand it and I am sure you won't either. If ever I get fussy and you simply cannot deal with me grab me by the hand and take me back to bed. Once we are there proceed to wrap us up in every blanket that we own. I don't care if it's 109 degrees in the middle of July, always resort to the blanket burrito. When we are snuggled away it helps me to shut out the outside world and focus on the important things like you and I. It will make me feel safe and sated.

8. Remind me why we fell in love.

When I become angry I tend to be very one track minded. Essentially, whatever has managed to make me mad stays in the forefront of my mind and becomes all I can focus on. If you fear that this is happening, grab my hand and take me to the place in our home where we keep our pictures. In doing this it will take me back through the story of us and most likely make tears well up in my eyes. In doing this you will remind me why we need to fight to make us work. We need to because I'm sure by this point I will not be able to imagine my life without you.

9. Even if I don't use the words "I love you" it doesn't mean I don't.

I have been taught from a very young age that people do not have to say those three little words ( I love you ) in order to show their signifact other that they do. There are some people (such as myself) that are not cut out for shouting their love for people from the mountains for all to hear. Instead, I will say I love you by waking up early and making your breakfast before you go to work. I will show you by being willing to get up and turn the light off even though you were last in bed and I was already in the aforementioned blanket burrito. I will show you by being willing to hold your hand as we walk into you family reunion because even YOU are afraid to face your family alone. I guess what I am asking is that you promise to watch for my love and not solely listen for it.

10. Don't give up on me.

I know that loving me is hard; believe me, I get it. I know that there are times where I can be ruthless, moody, and all around unpleaseant to be with. Love is something that requires hard work and patience so please, I implore you, do not give up on me. Do not give up on us. I have waited my whole life to wake up next to you and love you. I really don't want to spend the rest of it wondering if we could have worked. So this is my promise to you to always love you, to always listen to you, and to always try to become the man you deserve.