I'll be the first to admit that women are certainly complex creatures. Within our heads are constantly moving parts that are planning ahead, reflecting, which may make relationships difficult sometimes. The independent woman is in a category all her own and may sometimes be difficult to map out while in a relationship. That being said, here are ten tips for the guy who is currently or is looking to date the autonomous young woman.
1. If I need your help, I'll ask.
I'm
used to doing things on my own. In fact, I like it. By letting me do my
own thing, I can still feel like an adult with the security of knowing I
have help within an arm's reach- if I need it. Although I don't like
doing it, it's comforting to know that you're there to help me, and you
don't mind waiting until I invite you to do so.
2. The song "Independent" was written for women like me.
I
love identifying as an independent woman. I keep up with my
bills, I think ahead on expenses before I get my paycheck, and I have a
step stool to reach the jars in the spice cabinet that I can't reach. I
like knowing that I am capable of being self sufficient.
3. Sometimes, I need alone time.
I
love spending time with you- please understand that first. But as a
severely independent woman, alone time is about as vital as oxygen and
water. It gives me time to think and do the other things that make me
feel like the an autonomous human being.
4. I don't need to constantly check in with you.
When we're apart, I won't blow up your phone. There may be an exception if something crazy happens while I'm sneaking through the Netflix series we are watching together because you're gone. If you don't message me back immediately, I won't flip out on you. I may send you a message just to see how your day is going or to ask a question, but if you're not with me, I won't blow you up.
5. Direct communication is vital.
I understand that I do have flaws. I can come off as so independent that it may be a little discouraging to you, and you might question why I'm with you in the first place. If you feel this way, sit down with me and we'll talk about it. It may be that I'm stressed and trying to juggle a lot at once, so I come off as standoffish, or I may think that I would bother you by sharing what I have on my plate at the time. For any relationships, be it with an independent woman or not, communication really is the key for a healthy, operational, and lasting romance. Just let me know so I can work on it.
6. I am my own knight in shining armor.
As
a woman, I have a lot on my plate. I like to actually try and balance
work, education, social life, that alone time, and an intimate
relationship even if it becomes exceedingly difficult sometimes. I may
get into a tiff with someone at work or log into my bank account to find
that the numbers are incorrect. Although I really appreciate your
support, I don't need you to step in for me. If need be, lend me an ear
for five minutes so I can vent, then I'll pull up my sleeves and slay
the dragon all on my own. Refer back to tip number one.
7. You can go out with your friends- without me.
If you want to go out with your friends, you don't have to ask my
permission. You can have a social life outside of myself and my friends, and
you can go and do without me glued to your side. You being out just
allows me to have the alone time that is vital to my existence. When you get back, I'll sit and listen to the fun things that you did and probably tell you about some of the interesting parts of my day that took place while you were gone. As long as we have mutual trust and respect, I don't have a problem with you going out without me.
8. I need you to be my equal, not my overseer.
All I want from you is your time, love, and attention. Although I sometimes may come off as domineering, I really don't mean to be. It's a side effect of having a Type-A personality, and at times I don't realize when I say something directly that may come off as harsh or when I'm lost in my thoughts and have an unintentionally frustrated look on my face. I don't want to be "above" you, nor you above me, but beside one another. I'll help you in any endeavor you want my help with, and I know you're there for me. In this relationship, we are in a loving team.
9. You may question whether or not I need you at all...
You've said time and time again that I don't need you. The honest to God truth is that I don't. I can survive without you, although I hate the thought of it. I have my step-stool to reach the high things, my workout regimen to make me strong enough to move the furniture in my apartment when I need a change, and a steady schedule and budget that I follow to pay my own way. You may not be a necessary part of my daily functions, and you're not absolutely vital to my physical existence, but the fact of the matter is that I want you. You have all of my love and trust, the latter of which isn't given freely.
