So the time in your life has come when you've moved back in with your parents (I'll pause now to let you revive yourself from fainting in horror). Whether you realized finding an apartment is harder than commuting to school, you just don't have a good reason (or enough rent money) to live on your own, or you've just graduated and that internship didn't turn into a full time job, you are now a (somewhat) college educated adult living in your childhood bedroom at your parents' house.
1. Do some household chores without being asked.
Ideally, you were a picture-perfect offspring from day one, and you've always lent a helping hand without being directly given a chore chart or bribed with allowance...yeah, me too. But now that you really are a full grown human being who can empathize, you should probably load and run the dishwasher after dinner. Do a load of laundry for your mom or brother. Take the trash out, provided it's not raining, too hot, you've put pants on that day, etc. Chances are your parents don't want you living back home for free any more than you want to be there. No, I know you love me, Mom. Yes, I can live at home as long as I want. Dad, I can hear you grumbling from here.
2. Give your mom the address of the party, club, or hotel in Vegas where you're going to be partying.
No, you don't haaaave to, but it's a great way to show the 'rents that you're a responsible young adult AND that you that have nothing to hide. Even if you do, are they really going to come check on you? They just want to feel like you're safe and they can find you if they need to come save you from the zombie apocalypse. (I don't claim to really understand parent logic.)
3. If you're going to drink at home, drink a lot of water.
My mother barely drinks, but my dad usually has wine and beer in the house. When I do drink at home, I keep a glass of water next to me. My mother seems very reassured that I'm at least responsibly preparing to not be hungover and useless the next day. Plus, hydrating isn't bad for you. This is definitely a win/win situation.
4. When you run to the store, make sure you ask if you can pick anything up for them.
Unless you're going to Costco, but that's a special occasion. Going to CVS for Pedialite (remember, stay hydrated) after a night out? Ask Mom if we're good on TP. Need more windshield wiper fluid? Ask Dad if he needs extra wiper blades...you see what I mean. If you're going out anyway, see if you can help them avoid that trip. I'm pretty sure real adults hate putting on pants and real adulting just as much as we do. Plus, seeming considerate is half the struggle.
5. DON'T leave your shit everywhere like when you were 15 years old.
Painting your nails in front of the TV? Allow enough time for them to dry (really dry) and then put your stuff away. All the way away. Where it belongs. Nobody wants teenage-you back in the house. Current-you doesn't even want that. Think about it. When you order pizza, toss the box in the outside trash. If you reheat leftovers, rinse out the container and your dishes.
6. Respect parking space hierarchies.
If your parents have a specific driveway space they ALWAYS park in, don't park there. Don't do it. Don't do it for half an hour before they get home, don't do it just to run back in for your phone, don't do it to wash your car (okay, do it to wash your car, but then wash theirs too – See Steps one and nine), just don't do it. They will inevitably come home and want that parking spot RIGHT MEOW.
7. Only borrow stuff with permission.
Those cute shoes in your mom's closet? Not fair game just because you moved back in. Going to a holiday weekend BBQ? Do NOT borrow Daddy's weird meat fork thermometer thing. Practice this now, "Mom/Dad, I'd really like to borrow ____ and I'll return it in the same or better condition. I promise." Then do it!
8. Don't drink their booze...without them.
I'm guilty of this one. Just don't drink the good stuff. Feel free to make their drinks just a little stronger so they won't notice you drinking more than they are, but don't drink it without them. If you can afford to buy it yourself, it's probably okay. Offer to share whatever concoctions you come up with. My dad is adventurous enough to try some of them...
9. Just be extra helpful for no reason.
As mentioned above, just wash their car because you're washing yours. Make a couple extra beds when you're off borrowing those shoes with permission. Plus, you're not being helpful for no reason. They're letting you live at home with real groceries, minimal smelly teenage boys (give or take a brother depending on your situation), a consistent parking space, your favorite dogs in the world, and quality family time that you won't get forever. And on that note...
10. Let them know that you're grateful.
You don't have to write your parents formal thank you notes, but maybe occasionally, over dinner that you didn't have to pay for, thank them for supporting you and letting you live in their home.
