If you weren't tuned in for arguably the most insane Olympic competition Rio had to offer, women's gymnastics, then what are you doing with your life? For those of us who were watching, there are some thoughts that undoubtedly crossed our minds.
1. Why can't I do that?
She just did no less than 15 different flips, and I can barely walk down the street without tripping. I can't even imagine running full speed at a stationary object, throwing myself at it, followed by a billion twists in the air, and landing gracefully. HOW????
2. How are they not hyperventilating right now?
They're literally performing in front of the entire world, a panic attack would be an understatement for my reaction if I were in their shoes. Maybe the nerves of steel come with the incredible gymnastic abilities...either way I missed out on both.
3. Why are other countries even here?
If there is one thing America dominates in, it's women's gymnastics. Unless you live under a rock, you've heard about Simone Biles and the kind of force she is to be reckoned with. Facing her and Aly Raisman? All I can say is good luck.
4. I would have broken my neck three times by now.
Not even 30 seconds into a routine, and I've established that I would have been carted off by this point. Seriously, how do they not die?
5. That leo is on point.
So shiny. So sparkly. So wow.
6. I'm the same age as an Olympic gold medalist.
She's competing in the biggest athletic competition on earth and racking up medals. Meanwhile, I've managed to singlehandedly keep Dairy Queen in business while juggling an intense Netflix binging schedule. Who's the real "superstar" here?
7. Ooooooh that's definitely a deduction.
I don't know about you, but I know hardly anything about the judging of gymnastic competitions. However, after some extensive research (watching Stick It several times), I'm a natural. Stay in bounds, ladies.
8. Please, PLEASE, pick that wedgie.
I know that flipping and flying through the air is going to cause some wardrobe issues, it's pretty much unavoidable. However, you'd think with all the customizing they do for each individual gymnast's leotard that they'd have a foolproof wedgie-prevention system figured out by now.
9. Okay, enough finger flicking, let's see some tumbling!
I know I know, the cutesy little moves they do are a part of the routine and give them time to prepare for their next pass. But really, don't we all just want them to do crazy flips for, like, the entire time??
10. I am SO proud.
Whenever someone steps onto the podium to receive their medal, and their anthem begins to play, it's hard to hold back a tear. Don't ask me why, but whenever Simone Biles won gold, I cried like I was her best friend from the 3rd grade.
