It is impossible to know what a person is going through just by taking a quick glance at them. We have all heard the saying, "don't judge a book by its cover." Unfortunately, all anyone ever sees is that extremely antisocial chick who seems to always have her head down, and rarely speaks. One would be surprised by what all may be going on in her mind, and many would not even begin to understand. Here is a look into that odd, mute girl from English class' thoughts:
1. "I will never fit in with anyone here."
It is the worst feeling in the world to feel as if there is no chance of fitting in or having a sense of belonging in one's community. Professors, counselors, and advisors will suggest that she begin to join clubs on campus or step out of her comfort zone, for example, but that is not always easy to do if one is shy and severely afraid of rejection.
2. "I am just not good enough."
Low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence can truly damage a person's mindset, and make one feel as if they will always have to settle, because they are not worthy of what everyone else is worthy of. She puts herself down, so when other people talk down on her, it just makes it ten times worse.
3. "Why can't I be like her?"
She always finds herself comparing herself to the next girl. She notices all of the "popular" girls experiencing boat loads of attention, and she beats herself up about it over and over again, because she just cannot figure out why she cannot be like the "worth it" girls. She cannot take a "like-able" selfie to save her life, and she does not like to party. She hates makeup, and she is not your average girly-girl, nor is she a tomboy.
4. "I feel like I am invisible."
She cannot help but to feel like no one notices her. She feels as if she fades into the background, no matter where she is, and people just see her as unimportant, and even non-existent, sometimes.
5. "Why is it that no one understands me?"
It is depressing knowing that there is not a single soul out there that she can relate to, or feel as if she has something in common with. She is the true definition of a "loner."
6. "I will never make it through Public Speaking."
She absolutely hates speaking in front of a crowd (meaning more than one person), because she fears she will be judged, mocked, or laughed at. She rambles and loses her train of thought very easily when she is asked to present in front of her classmates or even when the professor picks her to read the next passage during class. She rarely raises her hand, by the way. The idea of taking the required public speaking course eventually during her college career sparks a great deal of anxiety in her, and may even trigger a panic attack, or twelve, once she schedules for it.
7. "I don't even think my family likes me."
She often feels shunned from her own family. Of course, she knows they will always be there for her, but she is not confident that even they understand her. She finds it very difficult to open up to any of them.
8. "I just want to be pretty."
Someone from her past has convinced her that she just is not considered "eye candy." The whole world could tell her she is breathtakingly beautiful, however, she will insist that she resembles a troll. She hates mirrors, and will refuse to takes pictures, no matter how much one begs and pleads with her. Memories caught on camera are not important to her, and never have been. If it was up to her, she would walk around with a brown paper bag on her head.
9. "Why am I even here?"
She often questions if she even has a purpose, because she is not confident in her potential. Some days she does feel on top of the world, but other days she wakes up and feels like she is a waste of space.
10. "Everyone is out to get me."
It is incredibly hard for her to trust anyone. She often feels like people who walk into her life have an ulterior motive, and the majority of the time she is right. People take her for granted quite often, so she is becoming accustomed to being a doormat.
Although, she is starting to realize that she is her own worst enemy, and now she has to figure out how to change that. Bottom line is do not judge the quiet, "weird" girl just because she is hard to understand. She is struggling, just like the next person, she just makes it a lot more obvious. Give her a chance, will you?
