Yeah, I'm talking to you. The one who swore they would never ever turn to online dating. Now, you're that friend, always at least 50 swipes deep in either direction, constantly checking your recent matches and who new is nearby, or if that attractive person finally sent you a message. Hey, I'm not here to judge you, because I am one of you. From picking out your best selfies, coming up with the best bios, and deciding on whether or not to make the first move, I know it all too well. I’m not saying its a bad thing, but when you’re downloading other apps to see who’s swiped right on you before you even see them, (guilty!) you might want to take a step back and reevaluate your life choices. Not to mention that “tinderitis” you've begun to develop in your fingers from all that swiping you do all day. Okay, maybe that’s just me that have done those things, but if you find yourself associating with any of these, know that you’re not alone and you’re probably addicted to tinder, too, and it’s time to give it up, Tinderella.
- Choosing the best selfies
The hardest part of Tinder- choosing your profile pictures. My thought process usually goes something like this: “Should I take a new one? Or just use my current Facebook profile photo? Should I be smiling, or should look serious? Well, if I take a new selfie then I have an excuse to update my pictures..”
2. Crafting the perfect bio
Okay, I lied. Coming up with the perfect bio might be the hardest part, and it might be even more important than the pictures. I’m not going to lie, I’ve probably spent hours thinking of a funny bio, and when I cant think of one, I’ll just google one. No shame. Having a good bio thats not filled with the basic boring stuff is what will get you the matches I’ve noticed, and the more clever, funnier, and clever it is the better. I also analyze the persons bio, and will base the direction of my swipe based on your bio, and pictures.
3. Deleting your Facebook interests
Since you’re probably lazy like me when it comes to signing up for things, so you probably signed up through Facebook since it syncs and links everything for you. That’s great, until you’re stuck with a bunch of embarrassing pages that you liked on Facebook from when you were 12. Seriously, no one wants to see “The Backyardigans” displayed as your interests, nothing quite says swipe right like that. Yes, that was one of the many pages that I had liked on Facebook and would don my Tinder profile until I figured out how to delete from Tinder. I eventually ended up going through over 300 “likes” on my Facebook and unliking them to make my Tinder more swipe-worthy.
4. Distance
You determine the direction of your swipe based on distance. No sense in swiping right on someone, potentially matching and falling in love if they're 50 miles away from you! You have to plan accordingly. Close enough to where you could meet them, but far enough away that you can avoid confrontation.
5.Using Common Connections to find more information
If your profile is a little lacking or just want some more information, you use the Common Connections to determine your mutual Facebook friends to do a little stalking. No harm in it, you just want to verify that you're not being Catfished and find a little more out about them.
6. Messaging
Since you have Tinder down to a science, and you know that your bio is clever and funny enough to have people message you first if you match with them. But, when you’re the one that’s doing the swiping, thats where things get a little grey—Do you wait for them to message you first, or do you just send the first message? Does a simple “hey” work, or should you send a GIF? All valid questions that you have to deicide.
7. Exchanging numbers
Once you’ve got a good conversation going, you’ll probably end up getting their numbers, which is a little victory in itself. Everything is great until you go to save their number, not knowing their last name ever unless you ask for it, they tell you, or you creep, so you just end up saving it as Tinder. Just pray that you don’t get your matches confused doing that. Been there, done that…
8. Swiping through your entire town, next town over, and the town after that
After a while, you begin to see the same people appearing in your stack, or eventually just not having anyone new near you for a while. You’ve tried adjusting your distance to see if there’s anyone nearby, and still nothing. It’s official.. you’ve literally swiped right or left on everyone within a 50 miles radius of you. I guess that means you’ve been spending more time than you thought on Tinder.
9. Getting “Tindernoia” wherever you go
Tindernoia is a term I like to use when you get that paranoid feeling that everyone you see on the street is someone that you’ve recently seen on Tinder or matched with but haven't messaged yet. You don't know pure fear and awkwardness until that happens. To prevent this, I like to take myself out of the stack in the settings to prevent that from happening if I’m going somewhere.
10. Tinder Roulette
Tinder Roulette is something that I’m guilty of all the time. I like to refer to this as when you’re on a night out with friends and you start to swipe right on anyone and everyone that appears. The next morning you check your app to see endless notifications from people you don't even remember swiping on, or messages that you wouldn’t have sent otherwise. You never know what you’re going to get.
All jokes aside, these are just things that I find myself doing sometimes and is just meant to be fun. Tinder really is just a fun app and a way to meet new people around your town or community. Remember that if you do plan on meeting up with your match, you do so in a public place, tell your friends, be safe and make smart choices. By all means, continuing using the app, just make sure you're not taking it too seriously. Happy dating!
