I am from California. In attempt to save money, I spent my two week spring break on campus. Being one of the only humans left stranded in an already small liberal arts college in Westchester left me in dire need of human interaction. Needless to say, Tinder had been the second leading cause of my battery drainage.

I spent most of my time on Tinder. I wouldn't say I regret having a Tinder profile, but there are plenty of reasons why it takes a place of virtual shame on my iPhone. Despite the irritating conversations that I find its users initiating, I find myself swiping (mostly left) at random times during the day. It's almost as if I black out and find myself with ten new matches.

During my intensive experience with online dating, I've compiled a list of annoying patterns I've seen on Tinder that aren't helping anybody.

1. Your Snapchat

I met you about three minutes ago and you want to exchange Snapchats? I do understand the desire to be direct, but I have to build myself up to seeing you nude.

2. Sexual Messages

"Children, I met your father over a dating app when he asked if I was DTF."

3. Kink Accounts

These are the accounts with photos usually found on Tumblr porn blogs with bios detailing their dirtiest fantasies. I don't mean to disappoint my queer theorist idol, Foucault, by kink-shaming but I am: it is tacky.

4. Pictures of Cars

Pictures of any luxury object really. It is usually questionable whether it is yours or one you found on Google images.

5. Group Pictures

I do want to know if you have friends, but I also want to know which one is you. When it's the same group of people in all your pictures, I assume it's a kink account from your squad for an orgy.

6. Pictures With Girls

This might just be petty but I am petty. Usually you don't even look good in those pics — just sweaty and drunk.

7. Pictures With Children and Dogs

Are those really your pets? Does that child really know you? Are you exploiting their cuteness for hopeful matches?

8. Pictures With Fish

I actually prefer images with living creatures than with dead ones.

9. Advertisements

I'm cheating with this one, but capitalism counts as an annoying pattern, and I will swipe left to those who come right after Tinder ads just to say "fuck the system."

10. "Netflix n' Chill"

Asking me if I want to "Netflix and chill" contains all the ambiguity of indirectly suggesting to hook up and none of the emotional maturity of directly saying it.

11. Dull Conversation Starters

My biological desire to be efficient with my energy prevents me from responding to all the hot guys that message me with a simple variation of "Hey."

12. GIPHYs

Also tacky.

13. "Italian"

In an app where your goal is to stand out with your bio, mentioning that you're Italian has the opposite effect. Now I'm wondering, who isn't Italian?

14. People We Know

I'm just kidding about this one; I love seeing people at my school on Tinder.

Of course, at the end of the day you can do whatever you want. And when I say what "we" are tired of it, I really mean my friends and I — you won't be getting a swipe right from me. And I'll be honest that's kind of a shame, I personally would love getting a swipe right from me.