Long Island – that tiny piece of land hanging off of New York, connected only by a cluster of bridges and tunnels to the mainland. Long Islanders are fiercely proud of their slim piece of paradise, characterized by the best bagels and pizza you’ll ever eat and the most Bar and Bat Mitzvahs you can squeeze into one weekend. However, the love for our home comes with a cost – compromise. Not everything is beaches and Billy Joel. Here are a few things that Lawn Guylanders simultaneously love and hate.
1. The LIRR
The LIRR gets us where we need to go. It’s the fastest and easiest way into Manhattan, and we get to avoid the traffic while still getting glimpses of the skyline on our way in.
But if you’re coming from a station that isn’t a main hub or on a main line? Get ready to transfer at Jamaica every single time and wait an hour for the next transfer train to pull into Penn Station. Also, if you’re trying to stick to your budget while in the city? Forget it. Round trip train tickets cost upwards of $15 (and those are the cheap ones).
2. Chain pizza
Most native Long Islanders will scoff at the idea of eating pizza from lowly chain restaurants like Papa John’s or Pizza Hut. Why eat processed, puffy pizza when you can order thin, fresh pizza pulled straight from the ovens of Bella Vista, La Piazza, Phil & Sons, or Villa Monte?
However, we all break once in a while and simply crave that cheese filled crust or those cinnamon sticks. We’re all guilty of calling up Domino’s on a Friday night and surprisingly enjoying it.
3. The Mets
The Mets become a true point of contention no matter who you’re with. Get a Yankee fan and a Mets fan in the same room during baseball season, and you are really asking for a fight. While the Mets stunned last season by making it all the way to the World Series for the first time in 15 years, people are still quick to throw them away with a quick “the Mets suck” and go on supporting the Yankees. But with the most loyal fans in the country and a stadium people can actually drive to, the Mets continue to be Long Island’s favorite child who they’re sometimes disappointed in, but always proud of.
4. New Jersey
New Jersey is often known as the “armpit of America” and Long Islanders do nothing but perpetuate this nickname. It’s almost trendy to hate the Garden State if you live in New York. We complain about driving on their wonky Turnpike and the smell of toxic waste that greets everyone who drives over the border.
However, we have to thank New Jersey for some things. New Jersey holds Metlife Stadium, where our New York Jets and Giants play, in addition to being a powerhouse for concerts that draw fans in from all over the tri-state area. Six Flags, our favorite amusement park and Senior Cut Day destination, is in New Jersey. Without Jersey, we wouldn’t have Bon Jovi, Sinatra, Springsteen, or the Cake Boss. And who wants to live in a world without that?
5. The mall
Going to the mall is something everyone loves to do. Whether you’re going to shop, see a movie, or steal samples from Auntie Anne’s, the mall has become a social hub. But sometimes we frequent it too much and the experience gets stale. Whether you go to Walt Whitman and realize you can’t afford anything, go to Broadway and look at clothes that you already have, go to Roosevelt Field and get lost, or spend the entire time at Tanger trying to find a spot in the shade, the mall loses a bit of its sparkle as we grow older and companies expand.
6. The city
When Long Islanders refer to “the city," just know we’re talking about Manhattan. The city is an exciting place to be, especially if you live in the suburbs of Long Island. It’s where we go to see Broadway shows, host our after-proms, and take way too many hipster pictures for Instagram.
But as great as the city is, it also has its shortfalls. You’re more than likely going to be walking everywhere, so get ready for blisters and sore legs. Also, the crowds. Long Islanders go into the city a lot and sooner or later, the crowds become less exciting and more annoying as you fight your way through throngs of tourists just to get onto a side street. It’s also worth noting how expensive a trip into the city can get and how the $1 pizza truly isn’t worth the savings.
7. Snow
Everybody loves that first gentle fall of snow in the winter; that moment where your best friend texts you “SNOW DAY TOMORROW” and you look out your window to see your street under a white blanket. Everyone loves trekking to the closest hills with their garbage can lids to sled down them and throw snowballs at each other. You attempt to build a snowman and, despite its wonky shape, it’s still yours, standing proudly on your lawn. When it snows, everyone finds a way to have fun.
Unless it’s a blizzard of historic proportions and your power goes out or you can’t open your front door in the morning.
The snow fun usually doesn’t last past the next morning, either. Now you have to help shovel the driveway before school. That’s right, they plowed the streets so you have to wait outside for the school bus in your boots and layers. The snow freezes and sticks around for a while, collecting dirt and grime and looking less and less beautiful or peaceful or whatever you thought it was that first night. Plows create mountains in the parking lots and those won’t melt until April when…is it snowing? Again? In April?
8. Driving
As someone who doesn’t have her license yet, I have not yet experienced the stress and anger that comes with driving on Long Island. And since I cannot express this adequately, I asked some people who do drive what they think about driving on Long Island.
"The traffic sucks, but there's nothing better than cruising down that ocean parkway with Billy Joel blasting through the open windows." - Jen, an Ohio State student
“Driving on Long Island would be a lot better if everyone wouldn’t honk so much!” - Jill, an Adelphi staff member
“It seems fun until you have to sit behind other drivers on the road.” - Liz, an Adelphi student
"It's insane. Almost everyone has road rage. But I like driving here better than anywhere else in New York." - Erika, a Cortland student
“We might drive like jerks, but, hey. We’re New Yorkers.” - Meghan, a Hofstra commuter
"It beats walking, even though you're moving at the same pace." - Audrey, a Long Island resident
“People are crazy here.” - Lynn, a friend from Maine
“Oh God.” - Sam, an Adelphi commuter
However, this insane driving is necessary. Everything on Long Island is a convenient 20 minutes away, but mainly by parkway, highway, or a four-lane intersection. Driver please!
9. Ralph's Famous Italian Ices
Without a doubt, the most exciting part of the year is when Ralph’s opens back up for the season. Long Islanders are horrendously deprived during the colder months of birthday cake, mud slide and tiramisu ices. Once the drought is finally over, we flock to Ralph’s all across the island for some Blue Hawaii salvation. It’s an amazing place to see friends, get some dessert, get some ices on your friend’s car, and generally feel like it’s finally summer. We just wish it was open year-round.
10. Jones Beach
Going into summer, all Long Islanders can think about (besides Ralph’s opening) is going to the beach. The beach most of us go to during the warmer months is Jones Beach. And while walking the boardwalk and seeing shows at the band shell or arena is great, it also tends to be incredibly crowded every time you go. Everyone has the same idea on those beautiful summer days. And then there’s the drive back, which is always slightly uncomfortable with sand caked in every crevice and sea salt drying on your skin and in your hair. But hey, the tan is worth it, right?
It’s clear to see that Long Islanders can accept their home with all of its faults and shortcomings. But, mainly, we just love it and are always happy to be back.
