Brock Turner is a rapist who sexually assaulted an unconscious woman. Lucky for him, he spent a mere three months behind bars for his crime so he wouldn't miss out on the college experience. A mere 90 days. I've decided to write a list of all the things that have lasted longer than his sentence.
1. Foundation
My foundation and mascara have lasted longer than Brock Turner being in jail. Which means, if I was Brock Tuner, I could have gone to jail, worn it every single day, gotten out and still be using the foundation (with probably a few more weeks before I have to buy another one).
2. Pet Fish
Pet fish are known to die, often times suddenly. My beta fish, Finagin Marbles, has been alive longer than Brock Turner's jail time. And honestly, I forget to feed it a lot. So that's saying something.
3. Chad Micheal Murray and Sophia Busch's Marriage
The arguably cutest One Tree Hill couple were married for five months, a short time for marriage. Crazy that their marriage is still longer than a rapists jail time huh?
4. That Can of Soup in the Back of your Pantry
You know what I'm talking about. That can of whatever-it-is that has been in your pantry for probably a month. Maybe years. Maybe decades. That can of soup or whatever-it-is has been in your pantry longer than Brock Turner was in jail.
5. Pregnancy
Ah yes, the miracle of life. You could LITERALLY form a human AND STILL not be done by the time Brock Turner was released from jail. So to all you pregnant mothers out there, your baby got more time in your belly than Brock Turner did in a jail cell.
6. The Length of time it takes for your partner to tell you they love you
According to an article from Daily Mail, women take an average of 134 days to tell a man they love them. So theoretically, if you're a female, you could've started dating someone before Brock Turner went to jail and STILL have not told your partner you love them... and still have quite awhile before you will.
7. The Amount of Time you have to drive with your permit before you can drive a car
You must hold a permit for 9 months (if you're under the age of 18) before you are allowed to receive your driver's license. Crazy that I'm required 9 months of practice driving before I'm trusted to be a good driver... but Brock Turner gets 3 months to be trusted to not rape anyone again.
8. The Average School Semester
The average semester, including move in and finals weeks, is around 4 months long. Which means that you will have been a student longer than Brock Turner was a prisoner.
9. Celebrities Jail Time
Wesley Snipes, actor known for "Blade" (or most recently, "Expendables 3") spent 3 years in jail for tax evasion. Martha Stewart served five months in jail for obstruction of justice when she was being investigated for corporate fraud. Lil Kim went to jail for a year for lying to the police about a friend's involvement in a robbery. These are just a few examples of celebrities who served more time than Brock Turner.
10. The Entire investigation and Trial of Brock Turner
The rape happened on January 18, 2015. Turner was indicted on January 28, 2015. He was arraigned on February 2, 2015, pleading not guilty (HA). The trial began on March 14, 2016, and concluded on March 30, 2016. That's right, his trial and legal process, which was hell on the victim, lasted longer than his actual sentencing.
Mad yet?
