It's been two months since I have been able to consider myself a junior here at Alma College, and with the new title comes both nostalgia for the younger years and excitement/complete moments of panic for the future. Upon reflection, I realized how much I have changed over these two months, and I decided to take note.
1. I spend more time with myself
Whether it be to study or take a moment to process where I am in my life, I have come to realize that spending time alone is not a symptom of being anti-social, but rather a healthy exercise.
2. There are moments where I realize how happy I am
It may be when I am chatting with a professor, taking a walk on a nice day, or laughing with a group of friends; these moments are becoming more frequent, and they are life changing.
3. I am not afraid to speak my mind (well, almost)
People pleasing is no longer a common practice. If I have an issue, I will make it known. I do not have the patience nor the time to beat around the bush.
4. I do not put up with petty drama
This has been one of the biggest life-savers. I do not want to discuss the faults of others or deal with people who are 20 but think they are 14. I do not miss high school for a reason.
5. I have few friends, and that's okay
I have about five or six genuine friends, and that is more than I could have asked for. It is clear to me that the number of people in your life is irrelevant if you constantly feel alone when you are around them.
6. I visit family more
This is in part because my grandfather passed away this year. He indirectly reminded me of how important family is, whether they drive you crazy or not, and at the end of the day, they are the ones who will pick up your broken pieces.
7. My mentors hold a higher place of esteem
My professors continue to remind me how powerful I am, and as I encounter both academic and personal struggles, it amazes me how much I lean on them to help me through. They constantly remind me that asking for help is a sign of strength rather than weakness.
8. The pressure to get my life together is intense
Thinking about grad school, the GRE, and the future in general gives me a small rush of apprehension, but there is a small part of me that loves it.
9. I pay more attention to my mental health
I make sure I take the time to reconnect with the world around me. When I start to feel detached, I stop what I am doing and pay attention to myself. My strength doesn't stem from my grades.
10. I am starting to realize how mature I really am
As I meet more and more people my age, I continue to see how much I have grown over the past three years. It gives a brief sense of pride--enough to get me through a moment of self-doubt.
