Well it's that time of year again - formal szn. Hold on to your brushes, bathing suits, and alcoholic beverages, because this is no normal weekend getaway. Here are the basic steps any girl needs to take before going on a fraternity formal:
1. Celebrate with your friends, you found a date!
Unless you have a boyfriend or are exclusive with someone, being asked to a formal is a big deal. Most fraternity gentlemen have to pay extra to take you on this vacation weekend, and it's definitely not cheap. By asking you on formal, your now-date basically told you that out of all of the girls he's ever met, he would rather spend a whole weekend with you. That is quite an honor. Now the next logical thing is to text all of your best friends, sorority sisters, graduating senior class, and your first-grade reading group and tell them about the news.
2. Get to Walmart and Michael's: it's cooler time
Every fraternity gentleman expects a personalized cooler for his formal - and you will not be the one date that doesn't deliver. So, you get in your car and head on to the Walmart family picnic section and raid the Michael's paint aisle. It's time to get serious.
3. Live on Pinterest for the next 24 hours
The cooler has to be personalized to your specific date's personality, likes, and fraternity. This is no easy task. Thus, you stalk Pinterest for ideas and find the perfect designs and artwork for each side of your cooler. A few touch-ups and the wheels of your plan are now ready to be set in motion.
4. Don't sleep for 4 days straight because of the cooler
This cooler is a lot more work than you originally thought. You're starting to miss classes, school becomes optional, and you begin to lose sleep because all you can dream about is the cooler sitting on your bedroom floor. You would rather wake up early to continue working on it than wake up to go to the gym, but that's totally understandable. You're on a time crunch, and the amount of money, time and effort you put into this cooler is beginning to show. You're very proud. This piece of plastic has officially become your prized possession, and you've officially become delusional.
5. Make a pic stitch of your cooler so you can brag to all your friends
It's done. The masterpiece is finally finished, and as Picasso's successor, you can finally put down her paintbrush. It's now time to show off all of your hard work. You compile a pic stitch of all of the sides to send to your entire contact list and drown in the compliments. You've earned it, champ.
6. Buy all new bathing suits and dresses
As previously mentioned, formal is a big event, and big events require a whole new wardrobe. The dresses and bathing suits in your closet could work, but they're nothing new and therefore nothing exciting. It's getting to a certain point where you have your card number and, more importantly, your parents' card numbers memorized. It will all be worth it when you're the hottest mess on the dance floor.
7. Congratulations, you're now broke
Due to the amount of money you've spent on getting everything just right for formal, your bank no longer wants you to attend. So you eat $2 plain bagels from Dunkin and the pieces of Starburst you have hidden under your bed for the rest of your meals until then.
8. Run 10 miles per day a week before formal
It's formal szn, which means it's skinny season. Your date, and more importantly the gentlemen of an entire fraternity, will most likely be seeing you in a bikini so there's no better time to get the beach bod you've always wanted. Since you haven't truly exercised in the past 27 weeks and you want to lose 10 pounds in 7 days, the logical thing to do is to run to Ocala and back each morning before your gym workout that afternoon. You'll be tiny in no time.
9. Pack every thing you own, just in case
It's the night before formal and you're on FaceTime with your best friend who's currently trying to keep you as sane as possible. You have no idea what to pack for each part of your day so instead you're packing everything you own or ever inherited. You don't want to overpack, yet you don't want to wear the wrong thing, or look like anything less than Beyoncé performing at the Super Bowl. Packing has never been your strong suit anyway, which doesn't help the situation.
10. Enjoy yourself :)
You've done everything you can to prepare for this weekend...and it's finally here. Sit back, relax, grab a beer (or 7), and enjoy every second. You deserve it.
