Long distance relationships are not easy. In fact, they are far from it. The distance can make you start to wonder whether it’s even worth it to stay together. You always question what the other person is doing, no matter how much you trust them. You’ll always need reassurance that everything is okay. You'll hear so many times from so many people that it isn’t worth it and that you should just be with someone that can be there for you at all times. What I say to those people is: What if it is worth it? What if the distance ends up creating the best memories with each other that you can make?
It’s not going to be easy-but nobody ever said it would be. If it was easy then everyone would do it. Long distance relationships are annoying, frustrating, and lonely, and sad most of the times. But the good always outweighs the bad and the sad and lonely times seem to be a thing of the past. Here’s some tips on how to make things work:
1. Communication is Key
Don’t over communicate, but don’t under communicate. I know this seems lame, but just hear me out. Text (and calling) is one of the few ways you can communicate with your S.O. If you communicate too much you come off as clingy and needy; yet if you don’t communicate enough, you come off as distant which will make them wonder if the end is approaching. You don’t have to talk 24/7 for the relationship to be successful.
2. Make Occasional Visits
If your partner is half way around the world then this one may not be for you. But if you’re like me and your other half is only a few hours away then this should work. Making occasional trips are a good way to keep the love there. Knowing that your boyfriend/girlfriend is coming to visit is such an exciting day and you plan everything up until the day comes. However, surprise visits seem to be so much better than planned ones. There’s nothing like going down to the lobby of your building looking like a hobo and seeing your significant other sitting there with a smile and a bouquet of roses. The world seems to stop-as does your heart. You forget about all the problems you’re facing and the way you look. All you care about is that they’re here with you for that moment.
3. FaceTime/Skype Dates
Believe it or not, these are a real thing. For those whose partner is half way around the world, this definitely is for you. Even if they’re not, these are still good ideas. Say you’d planned a visit and a freak storm happens, FaceTime and Skype are great resources. These allow you to feel like you're there without actually being there.
4. Honesty
If honesty is the key root in your relationship, then you’re golden. If you’re honest with one another, you can discuss how you’re feeling about the relationship and how you’re feeling about each other. Without honesty, the relationship is doomed for failure. No matter how good of a liar you may think you are, the truth always comes out. It's always better to tell the truth now than have it blow up in your face later with a much worse outcome. Yes, the truth isn’t always pretty and happy, but I’d rather tell the truth and have it sting a little than find out later and be heart broken. If you’re honest, you are able to discuss things that are bothering you about one another and then you can fix the problems you have instead of letting them pile up.
5. It's Okay to Have Alone Time
Long distance does mean you’ll be missing the other half of your relationship but there’s nothing wrong with that. Sometimes, being alone is what can help you the most. Your entire life shouldn’t revolve solely around them; spending all of your time with that other person could mean hurting the other relationships you have in your life. Friends and family need time with you just as much, if not more, than you partner does.
6. Keep the Negativity Away
This one may be the most difficult one for both of you to do. Sure arguments will happen, much more than you’d like for them to, but you just have to try and stay positive throughout this time. No matter how crappy of a day you may have had, just know that they are always there to make you feel better and forget about all the bad things that happened and all the bad people that have made all those bad things happen.
7. Mail
While this is old-fashioned, postcards, mail, packages, whatever, are a great way to show that you love the other person. A simple I love you note on a card you send could make their awful, nasty, grey day seem so much brighter and happier. You don’t have to write a paragraph for the other person to appreciate it, anything will work-trust me on this one.
8. Listening
No matter what, always be willing to hear what your significant other has to say. Hearing about their day or having them listen to you complain about whatever is happening makes the distance almost seem non-existent.
9. Send Personal Items
Sending your loved one something personal that belongs to you or something that you love can make the distance seem okay. Whether it’s a teddy bear, jewelry, or just small love notes, having that to hold on to can make a bad day where you miss them not so bad.
10. Be Respectful and Give Them Space
As stated in # 5, your world shouldn’t revolve around them. Sometimes it’s good to have some alone time. If you feel they’re being distant, talk to them. If they need space then give them some space. Sometimes in long distance relationships, it’s very easy to smother the other person thinking that you’re being normal- it’s also easy to be distant without being aware. Finding a good balance between giving them their space and not being distant can be hard but is very possible and will make a difference.
Distance seems hard but it makes you appreciate the little things more than you did before. A simple voicemail saying they love you or a little “I love you” text seems like the greatest gift in the world. Getting to see their face, hold their hand, eat together in the same room, looking into their eyes all seem like the first time all over again when there’s distance between you. Therefore, if a relationship is meant to last forever, you will be able to overcome any challenge. No amount of distance should cause a relationship to end.
In the words of those adorable kitty posters..
“Just Hang In There”
