Target
noun | tar-get | tär-gət
1. A store where bank accounts are drained and everything one could ever want is available.
2. A place where boyfriends/husbands are not allowed to let their girlfriends/wives out of their sight. EVER.
Target is the store of temptation; you go in for a new bra and tampons, and you leave with 10 new swimsuits, 5 new outfits, 13 pairs of shoes, a new book, $100 worth of groceries, 8 new nail polishes, 3 scarves, a matching outfit for the cat you don't yet have, 50 sets of jewelry to mix and match with every outfit ever (since you can never be too prepared), and 4 empty Starbucks cups but no bra or no tampons, and the vicious cycle begins all over again.
It is dangerous to go in without supervision and if you lack self-control in the "Oh this is cute, I should try this on, just to see!" department, because we all know if you try it on, you fall in love with it, and if you fall in love with it, you just HAVE to have it. Here are 15 ways you might have a (slight) Target addiction...
1. Before each trip, you go on a coupon frenzy.
Because, duh, why wouldn't you? It's extra money you save in your pocket (so you can buy that one new pair of super cute sunglasses you eyed from across the jewelry department, obviously).
2. You make a list of everything that has a Cartwheel offer.
You utilize the HECK out of that handy-dandy little convenient money saver app. (Shout-out to Target for such a genius idea- you da real MVP.)
3. You get a sense of relief walking into the store.
I mean, honestly, what's better than a little R&R through some (just kidding, a LOT) retail therapy? That's right! NOTHING.
4. You HAVE to get a mocha frappuccino from Starbucks.
You can't focus or deal with people until you've had your liquid gold before you begin shopping. You literally just can't even.
5. The Dollar Spot is the best place for cheap, cute decor all year long.
They clearly placed it right at the entrance to suck you in right away. Especially during the holidays. You can't beat being able to afford the holiday season or even just cute little candles (to feed your crazy candle obsession) with items that cost less than $5 each!
6. What was supposed to be a quick trip turned into 2 hours later.
They say time flies when you're having fun...well isn't that the truth! I mean, trying on outfits for 20 minutes is worth every second of debating whether you want it or not. (Of course you do; those shirts match 3 pairs of your shoes, and you can't just pass up that kind of deal!)
7. You're there at least once every week.
LOL, who are fooling? It's more like every other day. You always have a reason (*cough* excuse *cough*) to go there.
8. You know EXACTLY which items are in what aisle.
You practically live here. Wait--why am I not working there yet? HELLOOO, employee discounts!?
9. You *ONLY* buy Target brand items.
You can't beat the price of healthy and off-brand items, and there have actually been tests done proving these brands (Up and Up, Simply Balanced) are actually healthier than the real brands and their top competitors. SCORE!
10. The cashiers remember you since you're such a frequent customer.
What's better than being recognized by the employees and they acknowledge your loyalty and dedication as a customer to the store? Nothing.
11. You actually have muscles from carrying all of the bags in one trip.
It's a great workout for your biceps. Speaking of working out, you could really go for a new workout outfit.
12. "Expect more. Pay less."
The company itself has proven to live up to it's motto and the things they have done, especially conforming to today's society. You can't help but love them even more for advocating the we are ALL human, no matter who we are, who we love, what we look like, or what we believe.
