Two weeks ago, the world was graced by a fashion statement that doubles as a unique tool: The Pizza Pouch. It's a necklace for your pizza. When you want more pizza, but don't have a free hand, you can have a slice on-neck for $8 at Stupidiotic's online store.

I was so impressed with the Pizza Pouch that I perused their online store. These are 10 other Stuipidiotic products you need in your life.

1. Shitten Mittens: $16.99

There's nothing more defeating than realizing you don't have any toilet paper after you've done your business. Shitten Mittens make no toilet paper no problem with its innovative single-use design. Simply pull on a mitten, and wipe. Comes in a pack of 20.

2. People I Want to Punch In The Face Book: $3

That driver who cuts you off or the drunk guy who bumps your beer hand at the bar has a special place in hell. Or, in your People I Want To Punch In The Face Book. The book's subtle cover and small design make it perfect for letting someone know you want to punch them in the face without saying anything. Keep it at home like a diary, or read your 16-page shit list to the birds at the park. My only problem with this product is that it just has 16 pages.

3. Caffeinated Syrup, Maple Syrup with Caffeine. 16.5 OZ bottle: $12.99

When things seem too good to be true - like an intelligent Tinder conversation - they usually are. But not with Caffeinated Syrup. With almost enough caffeine per serving to equal an 8 oz drip coffee, this makes an excellent gift for those friends with a sweet tooth, and a struggling cocaine addiction.

4. Pizza Fork, Pizza slicer + Fork: $8

The Pizza Fork's bold engineering makes cutting a slice off your pizza slice seem normal. Simply roll the slicer over a section of your pizza, then stab it with the prongs. Also great for omelets, pancakes, and French toast paired with caffeinated syrup.

5. Day Clock, Oak-wood rim: $40

When you're busy, the days can blend together. That's why with the Day Clock, you'll always know how many miserable days you have left until the weekend. You can also customize your clock, like adding "Thirsty" in front of Thursday.

6. Decision-Aider: $12

Take zero responsibility for your decisions and let something choose them for you. Not sure whether to do a line of blow or play with your dog? Write it down and swing. The Decision-Aider's user-friendly pendulum will swing and stop above a decision on a customizable, magnetic surface. Great for relationship advice, career choices, and birthday gift ideas.

7. Infinity Soap: $16

A sliver of soap doesn't cut the thick shit. That's why there's Infinity Soap: the soap for your soap. Infinity Soap comes with a groove to fit your lame sliver of soap, and after a couple of washes, forms to make a full bar. Comes in a pack of six.

8. 40 oz. Cozy: $12

Be ballin' on a budget with a 40 oz. Cozy. Don't let those craft-beer snobs take all the glory; your 40 oz. Cozy has a handle, coaster base, and a lifetime guarantee of never being used after you move out of the frat house.

9. Scooter Luggage: Security checkpoint compliant. Maximum load, 220 pounds. $300

When everyone at the airport sees you glide away from the security checkpoint on your Scooter Luggage, not only will they wonder where your parents are, they'll also wonder why they didn't think of it themselves. With room for a laptop and most personal travel necessities - minus the jumbo hair dryer - the Scooter Luggage is guaranteed to get you where you need to go, without getting you laid.

10. Mop Slippers, machine washable, assorted colors: $8

Do you pace around the house when talking on the phone or procrastinating life? Could your floors be cleaner? If you answered yes to these two questions, Mop Slippers are right for you. Simply pull on the Mop Slippers and forget about everything. The pacing, combined with the Mop Slippers' intuitive design, will get the floors done and nothing else.