Guys, Donald Trump has been getting worse and worse every week. It's barely even funny anymore. Know what is funny, though? Dan Harmon and Justin Roiland's hit cartoon, Rick and Morty! Let's pretend this wig-wearing future fascist doesn't exist and take a minute to imagine these 10 original Rick and Morty characters on the campaign trail.
10. Bird Person
It has been a difficult election season for Birdperson, but you can count on him to Make America Squanch Again. Even if he ends up getting assassinated by the First Lady, at least we'll know that he's made a Soul Bond with our great nation.
9. Ice-/Water-T
Ronald Reagan was an actor. Water T produced the best song in the galaxy. Donald Trump went bankrupt multiple times. They all showed us what they got--and I don't know about you, but I think Water T comes out on top.
8. Prince Nebulon
He may be the biggest scammer in the galaxy, but at least his abject fear of nudity would mean we wouldn't have to hear him talk about how he'd date his daughter.
7. Scary Terry
You can run, but you CAN'T HIDE from Scary Terry's devotion to democracy and constitutional rights.
6. Baby Legs
Before you argue, remember the size of Trump's hands.
5. Mr. Meeseeks
HE'S MISTER MEESEEKS LOOK AT HIIIIIIIIM being a great president and serving the needs of every American, not just the racist ones.
4. Mr. Needful
He's literally the devil, but at least he believes in business regulation.
3. Ants-In-My-Eyes Johnson
He can't see through the ants, but he can see through Trump's lies. He can't feel sensations, but he can feel pride in our country. Now this is a Johnson I could vote for.
2. Abradolf Lincler
50 percent Abe Lincoln, 50 percent Adolf Hitler, 100 precent internal struggle. Sure, he struggles with his dark side and his light side--but Trump's only "light side" is his toupee.
1. Krombopulos Michael
Everyone's favorite assassin! Yup, in his own words, "he has no code of ethics. He will kill anyone, anywhere. Children, animals, old people, doesn't matter. He just loves killin'," and he would still do a better job leading this country than Donald Trump. At least he has experience in politics--the politics of assassinations, but still. He'll Make America Dead Again (which, at this point, may be better than Great).
Thanks to Dan Harmon, Justin Roiland, and the entire writing staff of Rick and Morty for creating these truly presidential characters.
On November 8th, who's got your intergalactic vote?