When I was in fifth grade, I remember sitting in class and for some reason (I can't remember why exactly) we were going around the room telling our dad's ages. There seemed to be a consistent age range throughout the room: fellow classmates excitingly saying "40!", "42!", "35!", "38!", etc., but then when it was my turn everyone stopped and stared in amazement—or maybe terror—"60", I said proudly! That was the day I realized that my dad was a bit ancient compared to others.
When i got home that afternoon I remember running straight to the computer room, which is where I would always find my dad in the afternoons playing solitaire, and I asked him, "Dad...are you old?!!" I didn't even ask how his day was, just jumped right to it—I'm charming, I know. After he tried to control his laughter, the conversation went a little like this:
Dad: "Do you think i'm old?"
Me: "Yes. Well I think. All my friend's dads are 30-somethin'!"
Dad: "30-somethin'?! Hummm....well yes, I guess I am old!"
Me: "Noooooooooo! I don't want you to be old!"
Dad: "Why don't you want me to be old??!" *laughter*
Me: "Because old people die, and I don't want you to die!"
Dad: "...............Die?!!! Exactly how old do you think I am? I'm not going to die anytime soon, I promise. Being old doesn't mean death, silly. It just means I'm wise."
Me: "Ok, you promise you're just wise and not going to die?"
Dad: "Promise!"
As obnoxious and rude as I was that day, I will never forget that moment. At the time, I was still worried, and slightly weirded out to have such a significantly older father, but over time, growing up and entering this scary world of adulthood, I'm so thankful for him and his older age, and here's why:
1. I've learned to recognize the true qualities of a gentleman.
You opened and closed every car door for us. You opened every restaurant door for us and let us go in first. You pulled out our chairs and stood when we left the table. In today's world, some might say "What the heck, they are independent women, they can open their own door and pull out their own chair," but you know what, I never felt any less independent, but rather you made mom and I feel respected and loved with every aforementioned gesture.
You always picked up every bill when we went out to eat as a family, and always had/have impeccable manners.
2. I've learned how to be the young woman who loves and respects herself.
You always told me how beautiful and important I was. You also taught me that the way I dress, act and carry myself shows how much respect I have for myself.
3. I'm thankful to have been able to see how much you love Mom.
Thank you for coming home with flowers for Mom. Thank you for the sweet kisses y'all would exchange throughout our days together. Thank you for being her shoulder to cry on because by watching how much you loved my mom, I knew exactly what to look for and expect from my future husband.
4. I've learned the importance of family.
You never let any holiday go without some sort of fun family outing or trip. Our annual ski vacations to Lake Tahoe will always hold the fondest memories (even though I almost died of hypothermia because Mom bought me ski gear that was more of a fashion statement, rather than practical for the freezing cold weather).
5. I've learned that blood doesn't just make a person family.
You loved Mom's kids as if they were your own, never showing a division, just as she loved your kids as her own. Together, you and Mom created one big happy blended family, and then added me along the way!
6. I've learned that when a guy is mean to you, that does not mean he likes you.
When I would come home from school feeling a bit agitated because this boy in my second grade class wouldn't stop bugging me—he would pull by pony tail, steal my chocolate milk and even had the audacity to yell at me and snatch my skip-it recess toy—you had the best piece of advice. You told me, "His actions definitely are not the ways a boy shows a girl he likes you. He's just an asshole. Smack him right across the face next time he steals your skip-it or yanks your pony tail, and avoid assholes like that, ok?" "OK DAD!" I'll have you know I smacked that brat right across his face the next time he tried to come near my skip-it.
7. I've learned the power of remaining calm, cool and collected.
Where Mom tends to panic and immediately go off of her first reaction, you have taught me the value of remaining calm, cool and collected. For that, I am so grateful because even though I'm a lot like Mom (which I love), I did get your wonderful sense of calmness, which is a necessity when we live in a world where everything is not always perfect. And with all of this political talk going on lately, I've learned how to state my opinion calmly and disagree with others without it ever becoming a screaming match lol.
8. I've learned that integrity always trumps immediate gratification.
Enough said, honestly. Throughout all of your business endeavors, you have never been a cheater, sore loser or insensitive to your workers. And when people have ever done you wrong, I've never seen you retaliate, which is so inspiring to me.
9. I've learned the beauty of taking a chance and never just settling.
You built a successful business from the ground up, even though the odds were rarely in your favor in the beginning. Losing your mom at such a young age, basically taking care of all of your younger siblings and trying to get your own life together, you definitely beat all the odds! I've learned from you that hard work and believing in your dream will always make you successful.
10. I've learned which wines are the absolute best!
And of course, you have taught me all of the best wines that are out there and what foods to pair them with. And I'll have you know, I try to mimic your "swivel and sniff" every time before I take a sip of wine!
I love you Dad, and thank you for being old because you have instilled me with so much wisdom and love.
Your babygirl, Fannie
