Living in a college town, Chipotle is a staple of everyone's diet. To this specific niche of society, this company can do no wrong. It’s like every millennial just forgot that their meat was very literally contaminated and they shut down for like a week. But, I'll say it, nay, I'll shout my unpopular opinion from the rooftop: Chipotle is overrated. Sure, it’s a good company and they sell some food, I'm not knocking that. However, Chipotle is a lot less great than every sister of Mu Alpha Theta would have you think and here's why:
1. It's pricey.
I will accept argument here, because I can get my bowl and be out without spending more than seven dollars, but when have I ever actually done that? Never. I know guac is extra but do you just expect me to eat my guacamole with a fork like a savage. Then you factor in chips. Chips are salty, I’ll need a drink. And now I am out the door having my total doubled and my account overdrawn.
2. Is it really that healthy?
Yes, I have seen the ads, I have read the billboards and I have even played their game where you pick out which chemical ingredient isn’t found in their food for a free side of guac. Call me a cynic but if their food is so healthy why do they go out of their way to remind me?
3. Long lines.
It can be 2 minutes before they open, 3:30 PM on a weekday, or 10:00 on a Saturday night and the line is out the door. Good thing I'm a patient person or waiting 30 minutes to be disappointed would make me really sad.
4. No queso.
I'm so tired of the lies. For years we were told that Chipotle didn't need queso, that it was never even a thought, and now, look, here they are rolling it out. Still, good queso is enough to shave half of these items off the list.
5. They are always out of something.
This should honestly be number 1. I have never been to Chipotle and gotten everything I ordered. There's no dressing for my salad, there's no more sweet tea, or they hid their spoons in the back due to lack of interest.
6. Impatient staff.
Call me high maintenance but you may want to be a little more understandable to a 73-year-old woman who hasn't heard of sofritas, barbacoa, carnitas, or any of those other made up names for protein.
7. Inconsistent proportions.
We all know which Chipotle in our town is heavy with all the toppings and which location is trying to stretch all their ingredients to last until the next shipment.
8. Least bearable type of clientele.
I have never overheard a conversation in line for Chipotle that didn't damage my brain cells. Whether he's in a self-cut tank talking about how much gains he’s about to inhale or she's saying a small prayer that she doesn't throw this up later when she goes to the club, don’t ever plan on finding love in Chipotle.
9. Disorganized system.
One time, during a lunch rush, the lady who put my meat on my bowl disappeared to go get more corn salsa and never returned. I'm pretty sure she just cracked under the pressure and walked out the back door. I wonder if she's okay now...
10. No specials--Ever.
I shouldn't say never. Chiptopia was brilliant but also a year ago and I went to Chipotle every day for a month when they were giving free drinks with a student ID but where have all these deals gone? And if I'm going a month straight why am I not earning reward points????
Word on the street is Chipotle isn't getting queso everywhere until sometime in September. If they can successfully execute this fateful feat I'm willing to reconsider the hype, until then, Chipotle has a lot to prove to this broke, starving college student.
