I only drink milk. Well… milk and water but mostly milk. It’s OK if you think that’s odd, or you don’t understand the benefits of such a beverage, but I am here to shed light on its goodness. Please enjoy the top 10 reasons why milk is the best drink there is.
1. If you spill it you can make cool comments.
For example, “Don’t cry over spilled milk.” That’s my favorite joke to tell at parties.
2. It is SO GOOD for you.
Like really really good for you. There’s a reason that parents at restaurants always order milk for their kids. Strong teeth and bones? Heck yeah. How else do you think I’d be able to carry around my economics and accounting books cradled in one arm. Ty milk, ty.
3. It reduces risk of cardiovascular disease and strokes
According to the National Center for Biotechnology Information in January of 2015, "Dairy consumption was associated with a 12 percent and 13 percent reduced risk of cardiovascular disease and stroke, respectively." Think of all that you can accomplish with a few extra years of life. When you reach the top of Mount Everest give your jug of milk a pat on the back.
4. Milk will creep into your life at the most unexpected moments.
5. Provides a (good?) twitter bio.
6. Milk puns are so so good.
2 percent of the time. Milk them for all they’re worth. Thank them for all of the legendairy jokes. ALSO!!! BONUS: If you laugh while drinking milk it'll come out of your nose. Cute.
7. If you’re lying in bed worrying about whether 2 percent is better than 1 percent, just go drink some warm milk and it’ll help you doze off in a jiff.
As reported by Rachel Johnson P.h.D, M.P.h., R.D. in a March 2016 article of “Eating Well”, “Decades ago, scientists looked into this folk remedy and posited that tryptophan, an amino acid in milk (and turkey), might be responsible for its supposed sleep-inducing effects.” You’ll sleep like a baby.
8. There are so many different varieties.
Some folks prefer whole, while others solely stick to skim, and for the noncommittal people in the middle there are choices like 1 percent and 2 percent. We can also pretend that soy milk and almond milk fall into this category if you want. Milk is milk, and milk is good.
9. Cats love milk.
Share this tasty treat and they'll be less likely to give you cat scratch fever, ay?
10. A milk carton would make a great Halloween costume.
I'm currently drinking a cool glass of 1 percent. This isn't a sport, it's a lifestyle.
Now go out there and live life, laugh often, and drink more milk.
