Don't get me wrong. I love Omaha. For the past 20 years, it's the only place I've called home. The people are friendly, the steaks are delicious, and the entertainment scene is fairly decent.
Creighton basketball is the highlight of the winter, and heading out to the lake is the highlight of the summer.
But when I pack for family vacations, I try, at all costs, to leave any t-shirts or sweatshirts that represent my hometown behind. It isn't because I'm not proud of Omaha. It's just a precaution in order to avoid the conversation that follows.
1. “Where are you from? Omaha? Is Omaha in Minnesota?”
No. It’s nowhere near Minnesota.
2. "Oh, okay, it’s in Nebraska? Nebraska is by Iowa, right?"
Why do you even know where Iowa is? Iowa is irrelevant.
3. “So are you a fan of Nebraska football?”
You say that as if you don't know there is a pilgrimage to Lincoln every Saturday during football season.
4. “Did you go to school in a corn field?”
Okay, well, maybe. But I can’t help where our schools are located. Just because there are random patches of corn all throughout west Omaha doesn’t mean I live on a farm.
5. “What do you do for fun?”
Go on vacation to Colorado or Florida.
6. “Have you ever driven a tractor?”
Yes, but to be fair, I drove the tractor while I was in Iowa.
7. “Would you ever consider moving to a bigger city?”
Omaha is the 43rd largest city in the United States. Technically, it’s bigger than Miami, Minneapolis, and Anaheim.
8. “Do you know someone everywhere you go?”
Probably, but is it really that uncommon to run into someone you know at Target?
9. “Isn’t that where that one baseball tournament is?”
The College World Series is the best part of summer in Omaha.
10. “Did you ever meet that one really good basketball player? What was his name?”
Doug? Yes. Yes, I did meet him. Twice actually.
