If there is one activity I can always rely on to keep me entertained, it's people watching. The best part about it is that every environment provides different types of people to examine, so I'm never bored. While people watching at the beach recently, I realized that I always see the same types of people, regardless of what beach I'm at. So I thought I would make a list of the 10 people who are bound to always be at a beach near you.
1. Old Tan Lady
We've all seen her. She is about 63 years old, sitting in her $20-an-hour rental beach chair reeking of tanning oil because, obviously, her brown, spotty, leather-like skin got way too light over the winter months. She's most likely reading a book or magazine with a tumbler full of an iced beverage by her side to keep her hydrated. Don't want to be pale and dehydrated!
2. Pale Family
Every beach has its family who, if they weren't wearing bathing suits, would blend into the white sand. You see them apply what seems to be an entire bottle of sunblock, but you can't even tell because it's the same shade as their melanin-free complexion. One look at this family and the aforementioned Old Tan Lady will definitely apply a new coat of tanning oil.
3. The Big Guy
If only we all had as much confidence as this guy. He's the one who proudly prances around the beach shirtless, despite how big he is. He loves showing off his hairy chest and beer belly almost as much as his speedo. Yikes!
4. The Frat Guys and Sorority Girls
As if it's their mission to let everyone know they are there, these college students can always be found under a beach tent blasting music with at least three Yeti coolers. If, for whatever reason, you decide it's a good idea to go to the beach during spring break, this is all you will find. Good luck with that.
5. The Person Who Will Not Get Burned
Much like the pale family, this individual is dead-set on not getting sunburned. Whether it's because they don't want to get any darker, they don't want to wrinkle, or they get red instead of getting tan, you will find this person wearing a ridiculous amount of clothing to avoid contact with the sun. Forget the sunscreen -- that's not good enough!
6. String Bikini
There is always one girl who, for whatever reason, decided to wear the tiniest string bikini that looks like dental floss got stuck to her body. You come to the conclusion that she may have taken too long of a nap in the tanning bed. She sports a massive pair of sunglasses and a very ornate belly ring. Like the big guy, you admire her confidence, but you can't help but fear that the next wave will be all it takes to untie that one knot holding the ensemble together.
7. Mrs. Full Glam
That's right: she's wearing everything from full coverage foundation and false eyelashes to a full set of acrylics. Even though she paid $400 for her blinged-out designer sunglasses, you couldn't pay her to get into the water.
8. Cheaper By The Dozen?
That poor mom thought it was a good idea to bring what seems like an entire daycare to the beach. Of course, they're all screaming with excitement as they play in the sand and the ocean waves, and she's trying to make sure they're all wearing their floaties and reapplying sunscreen. Maybe it would have been a better idea to stay at the hotel pool.
9. Family Photoshoot
We've all seen them. In fact, we've probably been in one of these photos. Everyone's wearing white so that Facebook knows they're having the best time on the family vacation.
10. The Locals
Easily spotted by the constant look of annoyance on their face, the locals basically hate everyone on this list. After years of being able to go to the beach whenever they want, they are able to smell a tourist from a mile away.
