Being an only child has many benefits, but also many set-backs. For one, I loved having my own space when I was little and never having to deal with sibling fights or tattling, but at the same time, I also missed out on having that special bond and always having someone my age to hang around. I never used to give being an only child much thought until now. Maybe it's because now that I'm older, I'm starting to become aware of my peers' amazing, grown-up relationships with their siblings, or maybe because I'm about to enter the adult world and wish I had someone that close to me to go to for advice on managing adulthood. Nevertheless, here are some of the aspects of being an only child that I feel are important to share:
1. We are not spoiled, pampered brats
This drives me insane. Just because I was the only child around does not mean that my parents gave me everything I wanted. I had to work very hard and earn everything I had, I still do, and my parents instilled in me such amazing values that I use to this day.
2. We had to be imaginative as children
Being the only child can be lonely, especially as a little girl. However, it allowed my imagination to flourish as I created games, took up new hobbies, or pretended my toys were real and had real lives themselves (I truly thought they came alive like in Toy Story up until I was seven).
3. Feeling like an old soul
Being around adults for a majority of the time as a young child kind of forced me to interact on a more adult level with people. I would overhear conversations between my parents and/or their friends and start to try and understand what everything meant, or I would end up watching T.V. shows or movies meant for an older age group. I actually felt cool being the only child amongst many adults sometimes. Because of this, I have always felt a little out of place amongst my peers-thinking about life from a more adult standpoint at a really young age. Today, I feel like this was a good, early preparation for adulthood.
4. Loneliness is real
Of course there were always times-and still are-where I would be very lonely. I would envy my friends who had siblings constantly around to play with and felt like it was very unfair that I did not. I would really cherish the times I had to play at friends' houses, though of course I had to go home eventually. However, being alone gave me time to really reflect on who I was, especially as I got older. But still, I'll always wonder how different my childhood would have been if I had a sibling.
5. Our friends become our siblings
I have always considered the friends I've had to be my siblings. I still do to this day. Having that special bond with someone the same age for many years is the closest things to having a sibling as I'll ever get. This may be why I believe strongly that family doesn't always mean blood-related. Family to me is anyone who comes into your life and shows they care. This is why I hold on to those close to me.
6. Having to give the same lecture as to why you're an only child to those who ask
I don't know why people think I owe them an explanation as to why my parents only had one child. To be honest, I don't know, and to be honest, it's not my place to ask them. I'm thankful for all they've given me and feel grateful for the childhood I've had. It baffles me how some people can look at me like I'm weird just because I tell them I have no siblings. Being an only child is not as uncommon as you think!
7. Being asked if you want a large family of your own one day
Whenever people ask me this, I honestly never really know what to say, as having children isn't something on my mind right now and won't be for a while. Of course, when I do choose to have children one day there's no doubt that I'd want more than one. I think having siblings is a beautiful, unique part of life and something that I'd certainly want for my future children.
8. Being envious of your peers with siblings
Yes, over the years I feel I have grown increasing jealous of those around me with siblings. I guess it's because now we are all moving into the adult stage of family relationships and siblings are becoming people to lean on and go to for advice on big issues and life changes. If we're being completely honest here, I wish I had a sibling now more than ever. There have been times when I'd need to vent, ask advice, or get tips on just about anything but didn't want to go to my parents but also didn't want to go to my friends either. A sibling would've been the perfect outlet in those situations. And of course, knowing you'll always have someone by your side who has known you practically your whole life is something that is absolutely sacred and amazing. Something I'd give anything to have had.
9. All the annoying teasing/jokes regarding being an only child
Seriously, there are too many to even list and just thinking about it gets me irked. So please, next time someone tells you that they're an only child just say "cool" and move on with your day.
10. We've always wanted a large social circle
This stems from my point about loneliness. From being on my own more as a child I have always craved the company of others. I feel this has increased more now as a young adult. I'll admit it, I hate being alone sometimes and love nothing more than to be surrounded by friends constantly. I value each and every friend I have and cherish the times we all spend together.
To all other only children feeling this way-you're not alone. Yes, we've missed out on a lot but we have also had many opportunities during our lives. There are positives and negatives to being an only child, but it shapes who you are as a person. And to those who still can't seem to grasp the concept of how someone can be an only child, just keep those thoughts and opinions to yourself. Who are you to judge honestly? There is nothing weird or privileged about being an only child and that I can assure you. As the saying goes, you never know what life is like for someone until you've walked in their shoes.
