Last summer, something amazing happened to me: I fell in love. More specifically, I fell in love with one of my co-counselors at summer camp—a happy-go-lucky, gorgeous, incredible, Brazilian tennis player. It was the kind of love where we both fell hard--really hard. It was a fast-paced roller-coaster of a romance—a fling that was never supposed to be anything more than that. But on the night before we had to part ways, I realized that I loved him and that, miraculously, he loved me too. So, we had that “what the hell is this?” talk and decided it was more than both of us ever thought it would be. In that one conversation we decided to embark upon this incredibly difficult, insanely stressful thing that we call the "Long Distance Relationship." Since then, I have realized that there are 10 undeniable truths to being in a LDR.
1. You will be lonely.
Yes, I said it. You will be miserably lonely sometimes. You will miss your significant other with all of your heart. You will miss cuddling and kissing and going on epic adventures together. You will miss just being in the same room with each other. You will miss the way they look at you when they think you aren’t paying attention.
2. You will fight.
Really, it is inevitable. Being so far away from each other causes communication errors constantly. When they say “fine.” in a texting conversation, you are going to assume that they are pissed at you for something you didn’t know you did. You will spend the next couple of hours stressed out of your mind because they haven't texted you back. In reality, they just had to run to tennis practice and was saying “fine” because they were agreeing with what you are saying.
3. You will spend more hours on Skype, FaceTime and the phone than you ever thought possible.
Whether that is falling asleep staring at each other on a small computer screen or calling to excitedly update on your goings-ons, you will be talking to them constantly.
4. You will count down the days until your next meeting.
You will have a timer set on your phone for a month from now when you actually get to be on a plane headed their way. Suddenly, 34 days won’t seem like that long.
5. The airport will become both your favorite and your least favorite place on the planet.
Yes, those giant silver bullets will carry you to your S.O. but they also take you away from them. The first moment that you see them at the airport is exhilarating and unbelievable. The last moment you see them at the terminal gate is heartbreaking and soul crushing.
6. You will get stronger.
Being in a LDR makes your bond one thousand times stronger than a normal relationship. Every time you can visit them, it is a conscious decision to do so. You may have to spend three hundred dollars on a plane ticket, which means that every time you plan on seeing them, you reevaluate your relationship and decide that, yes, you have to see them right now.
7. You will plan.
You will plan what day each month you will see each other. You will plan when to do your homework and plan your daily schedule so that you can talk to them. You will plan what will happen when you both graduate. You will plan for the future and you will plan for how incredible it will be when you are finally together.
8. You will stay up way too late.
You will stay up until 4 in the morning having conversations about nothing and everything even though you have an 8 A.M. And it won’t matter that you are exhausted the day after because last night, you learned things about them that they have never told anyone. It won’t matter because those conversations bond you in a way that you have never bonded with anyone before.
9. You will cry.
Sometimes, you will cry when you pass an ice cream shop that you two went to together. You will cry because you miss them, you will cry because you want to share things with them. You will cry because, oftentimes, Skype isn’t enough. You will cry because of misunderstandings. You will cry because you want the world with them and, right now, the world is separating you two. You will cry when you find one of their old sweatshirts that they left last time they visited and it still smells like them. You will cry… but you will also smile.
10. It will be worth it.
At the end of the day, long distance may be rough at times, but eventually, you will be together. You love each other more than anything and, since you are strong enough to survive long distance, you are strong enough to survive anything. They will make you the happiest person in the world. The weekends that you do get to see each other will be some of the best memories that you have.
So, if you love someone enough, don’t shy away from long distance. It will be hard, but it will be worth it. As my favorite quotes states: "Absence is to love as wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small and kindles the great."
