We have all at one time or another had an awkward sex moment. The weird-sounding moan, an even weirder grunt, and the god-awful, awkward dirty talk. Even worse than the awkward moments, there are some downright gross things that can happen during a sexual encounter. Just when we thought a queef was the worst of it, 10 scenarios straight out of "American Horror Story" emerge.
1. The forgotten, lost tampon.
Most of the time this occurs after we have had just a little bit too much to drink and requires a trip to your friendly gynecologist. But have no fear, it is much more common than you think.
2. Throwing up while going down.
Sorry, that's not spit. Also common after consuming one too many alcoholic beverages. Save yourself the embarrassment and never contact him again.
3. Anal.
Let's be real, I could write a whole book concerning butt play and the gross things that could happen. Most of them revolving around poop. But if you are willing to take the risk, you go, girl!
4. The surprise period.
Unexpected, messy, but at least you are not pregnant! If you are the unfortunate girl this happens to, hopefully it is at your own home, and invest in bleach.
5. When the condom is M.I.A.
Need I say more?
6. When you catch your beloved pet watching.
Your poor fur baby is now scarred for life and so are you.
7. When you fart.
A queef during sex is pretty much expected since air is being shoved up your hoo-ha, but a fart is another story. Play it off as best as you can, pray it does not smell, and hopefully it will get lost in all the other fun sounds that are happening.
8. When he farts.
Not only are you a bit grossed out, but you also feel his embarrassment and wish you hadn't heard it.
9. Accidentally peeing.
When you got to go, you got to go, and sometimes it's, embarrassingly, during sex.
10. When your parents walk in.
Basically a scene straight out of "American Pie" that is violation nation. Never will you leave the door unlocked again.
Although these incidents may prompt you to hide under a rock and never see the light of day again, have no fear, they make for killer stories. Laugh it off, tell a friend, and maybe lose his number. Sometimes there's just no chance in redeeming yourself after something that gross. But remember, there's always someone out there who has probably had a grosser sex moment than you.
