How’s your love life?

What are you doing after school?

How ‘bout that election?

So I heard you’ve converted?

Here is a list of 10 excuses to avoid those awkward conversations at family functions and with Thanksgiving coming up, I thought you could use a few. However, many of the following excuses involve clever avoidance of the conversation after being used so stockpile a few that could get you through the day.

Food Excuses:

1. I have to help prepare the food.

Wouldn’t the chef of your family just love some help cooking? Won’t it take hours? If the food is already finished, don’t you have to set the table? Prepare the plates? Wash the silverware? Something must be done and who could do it better than you? You are simply too busy being helpful to partake in this conversation.

2. I ate too much and am not feeling well.

I mean, who can really talk about serious topics like their relationship status, politics, religion, or their future while they are feeling sick? No one. Your family member will understand and let you slide. This time.

3. I have to go to the bathroom at this very moment.

Closely related to the above excuse is the old hide-out in the bathroom technique. When a conversation starts getting too serious just politely say “excuse me I would really like to continue talking to you but I have to use the restroom first.” The trick after this one, however, is avoidance for the rest of the family function.

4. I am moments away from going into a food coma.

After dinner I’ll bet you’re feeling pretty full and so is the rest of your fam. So, if someone wants to converse with you then, simply fall asleep and they’ll see that you’re too tired to talk.

Duty Calls:

5. I have homework to do.

If you bring your laptop with you to the festivities or your notebook or your textbook, let them know you have homework to catch up on and go sit in a quiet area to do so or pretend you’re doing so.

6. My cousins need my attention.

If you’ve got younger cousins like I do, you’ll know that they love to have your attention. So, when a family member starts to ask you about your love life look around like you’re confused and say “Oh, I forgot I told [insert cousins name] I would teach them how to [insert activity].” And quickly leave to search for the chosen cousin.

7. I’m getting an important call from a school organization or employer.

Lots of family members know that the life of a college student is a busy one, so if you are heading into awkward convo territory, play your phone's ringtone and hide out in an isolated space with your phone glued to your ear for as long as you need to.

8. I just heard [insert important family member here] call my name.

Oh, was that grandma calling me? –walks out of room casually—It’s as simple as that.

Honesty:

9. I don’t know enough on the subject to give my opinion.

Here is a simple answer that allows you to be nice while opting out of further discussion all together. Just tell whomever it may be that you are not well informed on the subject at hand and don’t feel comfortable with the discussion. Now, I’m not advocating lying, what I am saying is, if you don’t feel equipped to talk about a subject, this is one way to express that.

10. I just don’t want to talk about it fam.

Lastly, there’s always honesty. You could take a deep breath, wipe the cold sweat from your brow, and let your family member know you don’t feel comfortable discussing the present topic. If they have a problem with that, the conversation probably wouldn’t have gone well anyway so you saved yourself the trouble.

Have a happy Thanksgiving everyone!