Thank goodness for the Christmas season. It is a time of pine-scented bliss, increasing waistbands from the abundance of home-cooked meals, and a little too much eggnog. Plus, who could forget the natural form of birth control— hundreds of rampaging children—and, of course, the love and time spent with family and friends. Throughout it all, you will encounter your relatives, who love to inquire deeply about your personal life. Although the best and only way to properly answer these questions is through a variety of white lies or avoidance maneuvers, on the inside, you will feel like acting like the characters from "The Office."

1. "How were finals?"

Thinks to Self: "Finals were a traumatic and emotionally scarring hell I do not wish to elaborate further upon."

Your Response: "I fully grasped the subjects I was being taught, but at this point, it is all up to my professors to determine my grades."

2. "How often have you been working out?"

Thinks to Self: "Where even is the Rec Center?"

Your Response: "Well, my campus spreads out over 1,200 acres, so I often walk to class and take the stairs to be more environmentally-friendly."

3. "Are you seeing anyone?"

Thinks to Self: "Yesterday, I woke up spooning a half-melted tub of ice cream. So, no."

Your Response: "One of the reasons I am attending such a fine university is to further establish myself as an individual, so I am currently focusing on myself. However, I am sure you will see an updated relationship status on Facebook if I decide to pursue a relationship as well."

4. "I feel like you're finally at the age to discuss politics."

Thinks to Self: "I am just trying to eat my mashed potatoes in peace."

Your Response: "Wait, I think I just overheard your child scream crying. We should go see where all the little hooligans have run off to."

5. "Do you need money?"

Thinks to Self: "YES. ALWAYS. UNDER EVERY CIRCUMSTANCE."

Your Response: "I pride myself on being financially independent, but honestly, I could never refuse."

6. "What are your plans after college?"

Thinks to Self: "I am not even completely sure what I am majoring in, so your guess is as good as mine."

Your Response: "I plan on buying a dog and living with my best friends."

But most importantly, let us celebrate the holiday season with our family and friends.