My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years. Luckily for us, we have been dreaming up our life together since the early beginnings of our relationship, but even we still find things we find ourselves needing to discuss things that relate to the rest of our lives. Sometimes the topics can be difficult to discuss or seem very small in the grand scheme of things, but you should feel completely comfortable when you and your significant other really do think you're prepared to take the next step.
1. The Wedding
This is a huge part as it is the most immediate event after getting engaged, but be sure to realize that this is not the only thing. By agreeing to marry one another you are agreeing to spend the rest of your lives together and that's a big commitment! But in regards to your wedding, be sure to talk about looking at rings, if you want a surprise engagement vs. a planned one, do you want a big engagement complete with flash mobs and months of planning or an intimate engagement at dinner for just you two, wedding size (there's a big difference between 100 people and 200 people), general wedding location, and payment plans because weddings are hella expensive!!!
2. Money
Savings, income, spending, future money, joint or separate bank account, large purchases like a house, large investments like children and how you intend to afford all the things you want in your life. These can be difficult or even embarrassing conversations to have, but you have to really think these things through ahead of time.
3. Wants and Desires
Do you want children? How many? When? Where will you spend the holidays (his or hers, will you switch, etc)? Where will you live? Are you willing to move? House or apartment? City or suburb? Far away or near your families? Retirement plans, career plans, big house or small? All these things matter!
4. The Little Things
Is their snoring bearable? Can you handle the blanket hogging? Are his dad jokes cute or annoying? Do you have your own friend groups that will last? Does she chew with her mouth open? These may seem like such small things in the grand scheme of a life together, but those little annoyances now could really add up to huge resentment or big fights in the future if not addressed now.
5. Will This Really Work?
Sometimes it really sucks to have to talk about this because you love this person, but with divorce rates as high as they are, you have to be realistic. Have a sit down together to really work through any problems you have had in the past, any concerns you have for the future and really making sure you are looking beyond the love sick puppy eyes and making sure you truly want to be with this person for the rest of your life. If the answer is a resounding yes, congratulations!
