As I enter into the world of college dating, it is important to remember all the lessons my high school self was forced to learn the hard way. No matter the time and length of the relationship or how damaged you may think you are from it, it is important to recognize that good lessons come out of each interaction you have that you can use for the rest of your life. Not every relationship will last, but the lessons will.
1.) I learned that you should be a part of their world, not the center
When you get into a relationship, you should not just have tunnel vision for that one person. It is important to remember and keep up with all the things you had before your significant other, for example: your friends, career goals, daily workout routine, hobbies, and interests.
2.) I learned that you should share gender roles
It should be equal effort between the both of you to share driving responsibilities, paying for dates, opening doors, and other things. No one person should be expected to do it all. Effort is always given and 50/50.
3.) I learned that time management is key
While it is important to remember your individual responsibilities, if you truly want to be with your significant other you will always manage your time well enough to make time for them. If you can not devote free time to them it is possible to incorporate them into your responsibilities, like having them help you study with flash cards or help you clean your apartment! Just being together, no matter the activity, should be worth it.
4.) I learned that if you do not see a future, what is the point?
This can be short term like a road trip next weekend or long term like Christmas with your family in months. You should see them beside you for time to come. If problems arise where you no longer want them in your life for longer, why keep dragging it on?
5.) I learned that there should be nothing left unsaid
As a couple, you should be able and be comfortable enough to share everything about yourself with your each other. You should not have "no talk zones" about politics, religion, or your expectations for a future.
6.) I learned that you should not expect someone to complete you
You should not rely on someone else for your happiness. Do not dump all your expectations on someone. You as an individual should be able to love yourself before you let someone else love you.
7.) I learned that you should invest in growing as an individual
This goes along with the point above saying that you are responsible for loving yourself first. You should want to keep bettering yourself as an individual outside your relationship. Always wanted to learn how to cook? Do it. Does dancing in your underwear give you confidence? Keep rocking on.
8.) I learned that you should keep your building blocks
It may sound cheesy, but a relationship is nothing without the building blocks of trust, respect, and communication. No matter the situation, a relationship should always have these three principals. You should always be able to fully have faith in them no matter your worries.
9.) I learned that every attraction has a reaction
All couples have their own kind of problems. Disagreements are natural and almost expected from time to time. Just remember you are never alone. You have family and friends you can talk problems out to, but the only person it matters to is your significant other. Sitting down to communicate can solve any number of problems, just be honest. Problems are problems no matter the size.
10.) I learned that you can be happy again
Your first heartbreak and any number after that may seem like the total end of the world, but it is important to remember how you were and how your life was before your relationship. Keep your head up, you have to recognize that this one was not meant to last. Happiness will come again, it is the light at the end of the tunnel. It may sound cheesy again but time will heal all.
