My parents divorced when I was only 2 years old. As I grew up and saw all my friends with parents who were happily married, I couldn't help but hope that one day my parents would get back together. My parents married young and always told me they got divorced because they were too much like brother and sister. As a hopeful 8-year-old, I hoped that one day they would realize they were actually meant for each other. Boy, was I wrong … and it worked out even better. A few years ago, my parents were asked to be on a TV show to share their story and inspire hope in others to help foster a good relationship for their kids. Unfortunately, the producers of the show changed their minds and wanted to feature a troubled divorce—for ratings. So, I'm going to take over and share the top 10 reasons why it's great to have divorced parents who are still friends.
10. You get to live and grow up in two different houses.
For many kids with divorced parents, going from mom's house to dad's house can be a dreadful feat. But for me, it was nice to watch my parents chat as my mom dropped me off, or vice versa. I also have memories in my different childhood homes. My mom's house was full of dancing around the kitchen, playing in our game room, and going to the park down the street. My dad's house has different memories, like watching movies, baking cookies and brownies, and making silly movies with Barbies. Each house carries its own memories, and I couldn't be more grateful for each one.
9. You get to see more things and go more places.
Since family trips and vacations had to be done separately, there was more opportunity for me to go new places and see new things. My mom and I took a lot of trips to Florida to visit my grandpa and went on cruises with my grandma. My dad and I had fun on many museum trips, adventures to New Hampshire, and vacations in California to visit his family. These were experiences I was lucky to have growing up and were made possible by my parents’ diversity.
8. You learn different household rules.
My parents were always very similar. Both are very neat and organized but, went about enforcing it in different ways. My mom had me make my bed every morning before school, and if something was out of place, I had to put it back. My dad had me hand-wash my dishes after dinner, and together, we put them back in their places. I’m not sure how chores generally stacked up for most kids, but for me it meant that on the weekends I washed dishes and during the week I needed to make sure my bed was made. I owe it to my parents for teaching me discipline that I will forever use.
7. There is always a parent to go to.
When I'm having a bad day and need to have comforting food, eat gelato, and veg out on the couch, my dad's place in the place to be. His steak and potatoes is what a home-cooked meal means to me. I find solace in sitting around the table demolishing it with him, quickly after going out for our favorite gelato, and then settling on the couch to watch any kind of movie (he's a movie buff and isn't picky). When I need to talk, my mom is my go-to. She is my right-hand woman and I can go to her with just about anything. When I just need to get away from routine, I can call either parent and go to them. They will both always listen—and both have their ways of making me smile.
6. I get more visitors at college.
When my mom or dad come to visit me at school, I get super excited. Being away from them can be super hard on me at times, and when then come to visit it's almost like they bring me a piece of home. Also, they usually take me to Walmart and out to lunch, so that's a bonus!
5. There is no fighting.
One of the best things about divorced parents who are friends: the lack of fighting. Seeing some of my friends’ divorced parents fight about money or values is really hard to see. I love that my parents can talk things out and decide on things together, rather than arguing about things that shouldn't really matter.
4. I have learned about conflict resolution.
On a similar note, when my parents do disagree, they exemplify compromise and communication, which are both very important qualities. I love that my parents can speak their minds to one another without interruption and argument. This is a great example for me to put to use in my friendships and relationships.
3. They are part of each other's families.
My dad left his family in California and moved to the East Coast with my mom when they were married. Since he left his family, he became close with my mom's brothers and sisters. Even after my mom and dad divorced, my dad is invited to all our family parties—and even still calls my grandma, "Ma." It is wonderful to see that, even though they are divorced, they still consider each other family.
2. Holidays and birthdays are celebrated together.
One of the most important benefits of divorced parents who are friends is the fact that I can celebrate my birthday and Christmas with both parents. It is beautiful to see my parents together during our Christmas and my birthday celebrations. There is no tension or worry that my parents might fight and ruin the day.
1. There are so many more people to love—and be loved by!
My mom and dad are both happily remarried and I now have two more families! I have three step siblings, well over 20 aunts and uncles, and over 30-plus cousins because of my step parents. I was welcomed into these families with open arms … not to mention the fact that both my step parents are awesome! I get to love and be loved by many people—and that in itself is a beautiful thing.
