We obviously don’t get to choose our body types. We come as we are and there is really not much more one can do about it. If I had my choice, I would rather have the body shape of a Beyoncé Knowles or a Kardashian over a Kiera Knightly any day of the week. Each being extremely flawless in their own ways, I have always been curious by the idea of maybe having some more of a curve to my body. But, ya know. Here is me, straight as a board standing 5’8 weighing 120 lbs. Surprisingly I always get remarks thrown my way about my body type and how I am so “lucky” Here are just a few:

1.“Do you ever think you’d get a boob job?”

Yes. The second someone offers me a couple grand, come find me.

2.“Don’t worry, I’m more of an ass man anyway.”

Great! I don’t have that either.

3.“You’re like so lucky you can eat whatever you want and never gain weight.”

Okay, well you can start paying my grocery bill then. Being able to eat constantly doesn’t come cheap.

4.“Go to the gym with me, we can do squats and you will grow a butt in no time!”

I have tried every sort of squat imaginable. There is no booty about to grow down yonder.

5.“You must be in really good shape”

Actualllllly, I get winded just walking to my car to drive to get a cheeseburger so this is awkward.

6.“Do you even weigh over 100lbs?”

Maybe, maybe not. But I can still promise my weight is a higher number than your IQ.

7.“OMG. I can fit my hand around your wrists!”

…..why are you touching me?

8.“I think thigh gaps are unnatural”

Sorry it doesn't come natural to you but uh, there is literally nothing I could do to make my thighs touch. Sorry.

9.“You better be careful, you won’t have your metabolism forever.”

Yes, but in this moment I need to eat every 2-3 hours without feeling starved so please let me gorge in peace.

10.“So are you anorexic?”

No. But since you’re wondering I’m actually on my third snickers bar today but uh, thanks for asking?