Wearing makeup is fun! For so many of us girls there is nothing we love more than sitting down in front of our mirrors and going to work. We spend a timely amount trying to perfect that "night out" look, and when we do you already know the selfies are coming your way.
Makeup is fun, it's a hobby, and for some it's a collection. However, though we love beautifying ourselves and enjoy jamming to Beyonce while we contour, you already know the struggle of the following makeup mishaps:
1. It's time-consuming
If you're anything like me it takes you about 30 minutes to have a decent look, and an hour tops to feel like you have a magazine cover face. But, if you're like my younger sister you need about five minutes to smack on some foundation, line your eyes, and brush on some mascara to call it a day. Each person takes a different amount of time, and it is soooooo annoying that the ones who take five minutes still have the tendency to look just as flawless as the ones who took 30!
2. The oily face disgrace
I like to call the tendency to be "overly shiny" the Oily Face Disgrace. There is nothing more of an inconvenience then working your magic, looking great, and then halfway through the day your face turns into a shiny marble masterpiece and you glisten like Edward freaking Cullen. Setting spray, translucent powder, blah blah blah, yeah tried it all. Still shiny. Uh-noy-ing!
3. "Are you sick?"
Look, buddy, just because I am a little lazy today and didn't feel like spending my time trying to look good doesn't mean I have come down with the instant flu. I am over here just trying to embrace my natural beauty that everyone supposedly tells me exists underneath this makeup, and the second I do you ask if I am sick? Really? Reeeeaaaaalllllyyy?
4. Staying confidently confidential
Looking good equals feeling good! That is literally not a secret at all. When you're all done up and feeling confident the whole entire world seems to be in the palm of your hands, and it's your job to carry it with grace and sass.
However, it is one of those annoying moments where you're feeling too fab to give a damn when someone goes, "How much makeup do you wear?" and in that moment you become the next confidentiality case in their life because they just want to know and call you out for being "fake." Yeah well, sorry buddy, as far as I am concerned it's none of your business!
5. Cake face alert
All right, so sometimes we have the tendency to do ourselves up in the wrong lighting, step into the right one, and then scream when we realize that we look like the weird ass Oompa Loompa who follows Willy Wonka around.
Nothing is more annoying than embracing the fact that you just stooped to the level of Cake Face and had the alert system set off the second you looked in the mirror. Fix that before you even consider snapping a pic or leaving the house!
6. Symmetry sucks!
Getting everything even is the absolute worst, and I do not understand how in the hell people can do it. My mom literally parts her hair differently each day depending on which eyebrow looks better (sorry mom for outing your secret!).
Eyebrows are the worst, followed up closely to eyeliner. One eyebrow will look beautifully arched, with the fade in the front looking natural as ever, and then its sister across the T-Zone decides to look like a giant sideways comma above my eye. No no no. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever.
As for eyeliner, don't even get me started on the fact that my left eyes wing will be perfectly pointed and my right one just gets longer and longer every time I try to fix it. It sucks. Symmetry freaking sucks!
7. Smudging
Ask me what is worse than having shimmery smokey eyes get ruined when you open your eyelid too far and your liquid eyeliner smears by your brow? NOTHING. Now you have to use remover to smudge the black line until it's gone, making your upper eye super red, and then redoing and trying to make that smokey eye perfect again. In conclusion, if this happens just go put on your pajamas and go back to bed because life doesn't like you that day.
8. Crying catastrophes
Crying is never planned. Nobody ever is like, "After I have created my masterpiece on my face, at approximately 3:17 p.m. I will sob hysterically in my car when Adele comes on the radio." Literally, nobody.
BUT, when that happens and you are on the way to your friend's party and your mascara starts to run, and your tears erase your bronzer so you have white lines across your bronzed cheeks, you hate yourself. There have literally been reasonable situations for me to sob hysterically, and I just kept repeating "your makeup looks too good, do not ruin this" and somehow I survived. Yes, I repeat, you can survive the crying catastrophe.
9. Money, makeup, money
Ever notice that makeup is beyond expensive? Of course, we all want the Naked palettes, Too Faced foundation and bronzer, and the Anastasia contour and brow kits. We all want, but our bank accounts have to smack us in the face and remind us that we can only afford the drug store products until we graduate and get our degrees. I wonder if there is a minor in makeup retail?
10. Hypocritical makeup users
Have you ever noticed that girls who wear makeup do not ever look at girls who don't and judge them for not wearing any? Most of the time they applaud them for feeling confident in their naked bare skin -- I know I do!
However, in contrast, those who do not wear any are some of the first to look at those who do and say, "You're naturally pretty and are wearing way too much that it's overwhelming." What? Wait, no seriously, why?
Long story short, there is nothing better than wearing a full face of makeup and feeling confident in yourself, and yet there is nothing more annoying than the things that walk hand in hand with makeup wearing.
Embrace the unsymmetrical suckiness of your brows, kiss the mirror when you're feeling yourself, walk away with confidence when someone is being an ass by asking you how much you have on, and love yourself, ladies! LOVE YOURSELF! Makeup is an art, makeup is fun, and makeup is life!
