It was your typical hot and eventful night in Tucson, Ariz. The water had dried up on the pavement at the University of Arizona from the day's normal monsoon and the creatures were crawling the streets. Not your typical goblins, ghosts and boogie mans, these creatures were sporting tight dresses, heels, designer brand t-shirts and colorful calf socks. They remind you of the college kids you see in movies and they shamelessly act like Hollywood teen stars. After a long four day week of class, the night was thankfully underway. You hear the loud pulses of the bass in each respective fraternity house off in the distance, while the lyrics to "How Deep Is Your Love," is only audible to those allowed inside.

Dirtbags was packed with seniors and juniors. The mall was desolate compared to earlier that day, when lines of booths were set up annoying students as they walked by. All in all, the atmosphere at the home of the Wildcats is friendly and a bit loopy like every other Thursday night.

Then sh** just got the weirdest.

So let's take a full survey of what I saw happen, which at this point seems to be more important than what you think, so listen up. I don't know what was up with this cat, but it had been lurking around SAE's courtyard all night and looked like a zombie. So then we have this freshman at the party and we have this cat. Can you take a wild guess what happened?

Girl sees cat, cat sees girl. Girl wants to hold cat, cat is like "ah hell no." Girl couldn't care less if she falls while trying to retrieve the cat, she will have the little fur ball in no time. No time is an exaggeration, give her seven minutes and she has the cat. The freaky cat tenses up for a moment, like something had possessed it and bit the girl. Girl screams bloody murder.

No joke, you would have thought she was being attacked by multiple great white sharks her scream was so loud and blood curdling, when in reality, she had a little cat scratch.

Her friend rushes over to her, bright red with embarrassment and takes her over to the corner. Then we hear screams in the distance, from Sigma Chi or Kappa Sig maybe? Not just one girl screaming, it sounded like a crowd of people running for their lives. Then out of nowhere the screaming was coming from the SAE courtyard too. The freshman who got bit by the cat and her friend came out of the corner more wobbly than before, their micro-mini skirts were tattered and their skin was a more grey tint.

Then, their faces. Holy moly, their faces. They made the drunkest girl at the party look sober with their lipstick smeared across their faces and mascara all over the place.

Anyway, while I am making these wonderful observations everyone was running around screaming while these freaky chicks were chasing everyone trying to bite them. And then I heard it.

"It's a Zombie Apocalypse!"

Whoa. A zombie apocalypse? Alright. I guess now it's time for me to admit something. I am the kind of girl that is the one of the first three people to die in a horror movie. That makes me top 10 people to die in a zombie apocalypse!

So everyone was running around screaming, and I am certain this was the case all over campus because there is no way just one of these cats started this whole ordeal. Out of the screaming crowd I hear,

"Everyone to the Mary Roby gymnastics training center! Zombies are walking like they are drunk so no way they can survive the trampolines!"

Yeah, okay.

"Come with me to Mama's Hawaiian Barbecue! If I'm gonna survive this thing, I need a full stomach of chicken katsu man!"

Tempting, but no.

"I bet the cheerleaders could kick their a**es!"

I do not doubt this. In fact, I bet they would, but the guy who said this obviously has other intentions.

"To the Rec Center! I can knock them out in the racquetball courts!"

Seriously? Okay, enough of this, I will come up with my own survival plan. It's one in the morning, our unreal basketball team won't be awake to school them, the football team is on an away game (these zombie chicks wouldn't stand a chance against them), I could jump off the high dive? I have ALWAYS wanted to do that! Are zombies scared of water? Frog and Firkin or Gentle Ben’s menus could last me for days, or I could go sake bombing at Fuku. But in all seriousness, I need some zombie butt kickers that could be awake sometime soon and I need a hideout far from campus...ROTC!!! Those kids are up at like 4 a.m. pushing around huge tires and going on like 20 mile runs! They would kill these Zombies and that is only three hours away!

Now for the hiding spot.

I bet kids near Dirtbags have flocked Taco Bell, freshman back to their dorms thinking late night check in will save them and I could guess everyone else is running wild. Then it hit me...what's off campus? All the frats that got kicked off, of course! So a special thanks to those involved in getting D-Chi, Fiji, PiKapp and Delt off campus, because you are about to save the U of A student population.

Alright, it's time for me to get a move on, the only reason I haven't been mauled by the multiplying zombies is so that I can live to tell this tale. I make my way outside and decide to call an Uber...duh. FIFTY TIMES SURGE PRICE!? You have got to be kidding me. Oh my god, there are Zombies everywhere, who knew our student population would be such easy zombie targets. I am on the mall at this point and everyone is just hanging around being, well, dead. The alive are still running and screaming of course but the zombies only seem to be going for those that show interest at this point. I mean, we have zombies with backwards hats on, zombies in wedges falling everywhere and zombies still dancing as if they were in a music video. Almost like a zombie late night! Then like a diamond in the rough, I see it...a bicycle. Of course, here at our bike friendly and high bike left campus there would be a bike in my time of need (I still refuse to forgive whoever stole my bike seat freshman year, I mean come on). But here we are with the karma swinging the right way, not all heroes wear capes.

In the end, I never made it off campus, and I ended up becoming a zombie too (no, not on the way to the apocalypse, I made it pretty far). Turns out a Zona Zombie Apocalypse just ends in everyone doing what we do best and showing the nation just how much fun we can have, alive or dead.