"You've got it all wrong."

This is a sentence I have tearfully uttered on more than one occasion.

It was not a conversation of trying to right a wrong, nor of explaining a circumstance in which I was drowning and could not find an explanation for my actions.

It has always been uttered in those conversations where my posture towards life was in question because of my beliefs. Quick guess on your part is probably right, those beliefs I refer to are centered on a relationship with Jesus Christ and new life following salvation.

Let me just start by saying that I have questioned all week whether or not to write this article. I realize that there are many negative sentiments surrounding evangelical Christianity, but I truly believe that is the case because of a miscommunication that lies somewhere between the reading of scripture and the words that flow forth in an attempt to navigate this life in faithfulness.

Also, an over arching premise before any words flow forth from my own mouth: I am so very far from perfect and am made fully aware of that daily. None of this is said from a position of righteousness. This is all from a heart that is humbled daily to my own inadequacies. The Lord's greatness is only made greater through my own weakness, so I prayerfully put my weaknesses on display here.

Three years ago, leaving the very conservative state in which I was raised gave me a run for my money. Up until the day I left for college, I was so sure that I knew why I believed what I believed. I was the poster child for 'young Christian goody-two-shoes Texan'. I did as my parents asked of me, I followed rules if I knew of them, I went to Church on Sunday mornings and Bible study on Sunday evenings. I never questioned it because I was in the ever-so-protective bubble of Katy, Texas, a place where you can very easily get to your 18th birthday without seeing drugs, being offered a drink, struggling to pay a bill, and most certainly ever meeting a Democrat (nonetheless anyone with any kind of liberal ideals).

It was a childhood I would trade for nothing in this world. The Lord is good and He was all too gracious to me in giving me the least exciting testimony as an adolescent.

That being said, my move to Colorado was the second best thing that has happened to me after being brought into this world and cared for by my sweet momma and papa.

For the first time in my life, there was not this understanding that I would be the good Christian girl who does as she is told for no reason other than because mom said so.

I was put up to the question: "Why do you believe what you believe?"

... And for the first time, y'all, I could not say I knew why.

Queue year long crazy struggle with putting most of my beliefs aside and exploring this new 'freedom' I felt I had as a young and unexperienced college kid. Please laugh at me for living every cliche at that point in my life, I deserve it.

In spite of what seems like a misfortunate situation that some may have wished they could change, that year of not knowing what in the world was going on in my own life is something that I cannot be more thankful for. It was because of that season of my life that I can, with an honest and vulnerable heart, say that so many of the opinions about 'Christians' and 'Church' are simply not true of all people who profess a belief in Jesus Christ as their Savior.

I speak on behalf of my fellow believers from here on, but it is very much the case that the 'we' I refer to may just be something that describes 'me'. I do not claim to know perfectly what all of us believe, but I speak on behalf of those whom I do know share in my approach to Christianity.

For one, we are not all out to change your posture towards life.

Yes, we may want to talk about what we believe. But don't you love to talk about those things that make you, you? If you love skiing and mountain biking, I bet you could talk for hours about the newest equipment, latest tricks, and last weekend's trip to the mountain. If you are all about yoga and veganism, you better bet we have had some awesome time talking all about why that gets you so psyched. I am really into biomechanical engineering and enjoying the natural side of life, and I will unapologetically talk at end about both of those things. Its all in the same spirit, y'all: this is what makes us, us and that is something we should be able to have all kinds of conversations about without embittered hearts at the end of the night.

We are not perfect, nor do the honest among us claim to be.

I still struggle with my language (sorry, mom), am unkind to people who deserve so much more, choose to act selfishly on the daily, and have had one too many drinks on more than one occasion. These things don't make what I believe any less true or my commitment to it any less real: they make me human. At the end of the day, I wrestle with these things in conversation with my Creator. Everyone deals with their imperfections in their own ways, and our way of dealing is to bring them to the foot of the cross at which huge sacrifice was made to save us from the darkness all of those struggles bring.

We are not being fake when we talk about thankfulness and blessings.

It genuinely breaks my heart when I am told that people think I am creating a false sense of having it all together because I choose daily to focus on the good rather than carrying around an attitude of negativity and complaints about the bad that the day brought. Sometimes, it just heals the heart to meditate on the joys of getting to wake up and walk on two legs and learn and know people. This doesn't mean we lie to ourselves about there being very bad parts of life. It means we let those be the minutia; we hand the nasty parts of life away to a God who is so much bigger than the things we find hard to deal with.

We are not all out to judge.

The tag of 'judgmental' has almost become synonymous with Christian in this day and age. I am not here to say that it is not, at times, largely representative of people who frequent the Church. I have been the victim of this kind of judgement and have struggled through bouts of serving that out on other people. Again, we are not perfect people. We mess up a LOT. But it is just as true of Christians judging as it is of any people group that we can put a title on. Any religion, any club, any group that has an identity has judged at times. It is not good, it is not kind, it is not love. And with that, we should all focus a little less on the sawdust in our friend's eye when we have a plank in our own (Matthew 7:3).

We choose love first and foremost.

There is much debate in our country about issues that have both political and religious implications. I am neither a politician nor a theologian, so I cannot speak to the logistics of all that is going on in our nation right now. Even so, I do claim to choose love over all else and I feel that I have every right to speak on that. We cannot continue in this state of constant dispute between parties, people groups, and religions. If I understand even a little of what the Bible says (and I think I do), I know that before the Lord calls us to anything else He calls us to love Him and to love one another (Matthew 22:37-39). We are at the point where that simply needs to be enough because there is much too much hate and way too little love to go around. I do not mean to be wishy-washy or 'lukewarm' in my beliefs. I know that people, no matter their background, deserve to be loved as much as each of us deserves to breathe our next breath. Let us stop arguing about (fill in the blank) and let us choose to love one another. The Church was intended to be a hospital for sinners not a museum for the righteous. It is about time we let that be true again.

I care dearly that what we believe not be something that puts any one person in a position of more worthiness than any other person. I hope that this brought even the tiniest bit more clarity to what the title of 'Christian' really means about a person's approach to life.

There is so much more that can be said, but this is the root of my heart on what is often understood all wrong.

My prayer is that each of us believe that we are fully known and fully loved, because we truly truly are y'all.