You're not good enough.
When you think this way, it's difficult to find a reason to want more. Many times it seems like what you do has no real value unless you succeed. When you're born from two parents who started with nothing, it seems like you almost have no other option but to make something of yourself. This becomes particularly difficult when you have no passions, nothing that gives you a purpose.
Growing up, it seemed like everybody had a muse. There were kids into art, others who lived for sports, even some who wanted to become the next president of the United States. However, whenever the spotlight turned to me, it was always a shrug and an "I'll figure it out later." It's hard to feel empowered when nothing you do has any real pertaining meaning to your life.
You're not good enough.
Before you can begin to understand the complexity of this sentiment, you have to realize that this thought comes from years of painful averages. When society is force-feeding you individuality, it's almost become a crime to be normal, as if being 'just okay' at everything makes you less of a person- makes you not good enough. Why is it that someone only receives recognition when they surpass someone else? Why are getting B's and only being able to make a moderately passable plate of eggs not something to cherish as well?
It seems almost as if you aren't doing something absolutely impressionable at every moment, your life is lost. For the average kid, this way of thinking can damaging to their sense of esteem and worth. People can spend their lives living this way, truly believing that they are not good enough to meet the crazy standards thrown at us by the few who have attained more than seems possible.
It took me a long time to realize that failures are okay, and small missteps from a perfect path don't make you any less worthy of success. Being average is not something to shun, and my scrambled eggs are not any less edible. Sometimes, it's okay just to do what you can and if it doesn't meet someone's criteria, move on. At the end of the day, the only one who is going to have to live with yourself is you, so move at your own pace and meet your own expectations.
What you do is important, and it's more than enough.
