Often times, people have a hard time being told that they're wrong or receiving any kind of criticism. We feel rejected, become defensive, and put up mental filters so that we don't have to consider any additional opposing ideas that come from our perceived source of threat. Whether it's arguments with our parents, spouses or friends, we've all been in situations where we've felt like our opinions, beliefs or ideas are under attack.
Despite this, most of us can agree that questioning another's thoughts or beliefs is a healthy and natural part of interpersonal relationships.
Furthermore, we believe that we handle criticism well, when, in reality, most of us are actually very poor at it.
Ask yourself, how have you honestly responded when faced with criticism? Do you listen to it constructively, or do you immediately become defensive, and eliminate the opposing ideas altogether?
While I am surely not coming to you as the master of handling criticism, I feel it is a sensitive, but critical subject that is not discussed enough. This is because we often believe that our own reasoning is superior to others, and we think we know ourselves better than we do.
When introduced to an idea or belief that contradicts our own, we quickly assume that the opposing source is wrong and we are right. While this can sometimes be the case, the danger in this mentality is that it also hinders us from ever expanding on or changing aspects of our values, attitudes, and beliefs that may be flawed.
The next time you are faced with an opposing idea or critique:
1. Enjoy pursuing the truth more than being right.
2. Ask yourself if the person is trying to help you, or simply trying to engage in a healthy debate with you.
3. Practice detaching yourself from ideas so that you can investigate them without taking it personally.
Even though criticism often feels personal, we must understand why it is a crucial element to our self-growth. An open mind is more proficient at advancing and expanding on ideas than a mind who perceives all opposing forces as a threat.
