1944: Young men storm the beaches of Normandy, reasonably fearing death.
2016: Young men struggle with the idea of sucking their girlfriend’s dick, afraid of being labeled a bigot.
Yes, you read that right.
A young man phoned into "Savage Lovecast," a sex advice podcast hosted by author and LGBTQ activist Dan Savage. The caller identified himself as 26-year-old, “cisgender” (the person’s gender matches their sex, for those of you who don’t know), and straight. He then proceeded to tell his story about his current relationship with a pre-op transgender woman. Even though he was attracted to the sight of her naked body, he didn’t enjoy “sucking her dick.”
His question: Was his repulsion to sucking her dick “shitty of him” or just “innately transphobic?”
Let’s put aside the fact that you’re with someone who you’re not completely attracted to. Clearly, sex is important to you. Yet, the idea of blowing your girlfriend fills you with so much dread that you’re willing to go on air and talk about it. Let’s also put aside the phrase “sucking her dick.” I never thought that I’d hear anyone ever use that phrase. I don’t ever think that I’ll be able to use it without cracking up. I’m just going to leave it there.
The question remains. Does not wanting to suck your transgendered partner’s dick make you a terrible person or just passively transphobic?
The answer is neither. You just don’t like sucking cock.
My question is how did we get to this point? How is it that a person has to question whether they are good or bad on the basis of not desiring something?
We live in a time where every action that we take, every word that we say, and any word that we write is under scrutiny. The answer, of course, is our politically correct culture. At one time confined to the sheltered halls of academia, the concepts of micro-aggressions and thought crimes have seemed to spill out into all facets of life.
A scientist successfully lands a probe onto a comet. Instead of receiving praise, he is scorned. Why is that? It's because, during the announcement, he was dressed in a “sexist” shirt. Biochemist Tim Hunt seriously says something evil and sexist and is torn apart by keyboard feminists. Except, it was a joke and the mostly female audience laughed. Comedians ranging from Jerry Seinfeld to Chris Rock to Larry the Cable Guy avoid college campuses in order to not have to worry about whiny college kids. Even college professors who may have contributed to this terrible atmosphere are being hoisted by their own petard, as students berate them for objecting to dumb things like Halloween dress codes.
Now, we somehow have crawled further down the rabbit hole. We have gotten to the point where we have to question whether our own desires are evil or bigoted. If a gay guy doesn’t want to go down on a woman, is he sexist against women? No, he just doesn’t like that. If a guy has preferences for a woman’s race, weight, or looks, is he discriminating against those who don't fit his profile? No, he just doesn’t want to have sex with them.
So, in that same vein of logic, not wanting to suck your girlfriend off doesn’t mean that you have an irrational hatred of transgendered people. It just means that you don’t want to shove a dick in your mouth.
If we’re going to stop this overly sensitive society, we have to start here. I can’t believe that I have to say this, but, most of the time, your sexual desires don’t make you a bad person. Sex between consenting adults isn’t a bad thing. You do whatever makes you happy and avoid whatever makes you unhappy. You shouldn’t feel pressured to do something by your partner, society, or otherwise. If you are, you probably should get out of that situation.
So, whether you want to suck her dick or not, do as you please. You are probably not a bad person either way.
