Dear you (whoever you are),
You do not know me and I do not know you. But I do know that we both share something. We both suffer from this horrible disorder. A lot of people might have told you over the years "it's okay." Or the classic "It's just a feeling, you'll get over it."
Well as you and I both know, this isn't the truth. The truth is, for me at least, it usually isn't about anything. My attacks happen over nothing. And when people ask me "What's wrong?" I genuinely get terrified because I don't know the answer to that question. It's basically like everything could be wrong and I don't know what it is that has me this way.
Sound crazy yet? Probably. But this is my form of depression. We may not share the same form, but as a whole, these are the same disorder. So, here's a few things just to remember.
Don't push people away. They aren't the ones who are causing you this pain. This isn't something that you should shove in their faces either. The number one thing I have figured out with depression is that you can't fight this battle alone. The people in your life probably can't fully give you the uplifting you need from it, but they will be there right before the fall and right after the rise from it. If you can't be around people for an amount of time, don't be around them. Take a step away from them, be alone with yourself and just let it out if you need to.
If you need to let it out, be healthy about it. Sometimes, I'll sit on my porch and just cry because I just need it out of my system, because my depression needs to be released, and I need it to feel real. This isn't the case for others. Use what you are used to, but don't be afraid to call someone to sit and cry with you and hold you. Those are always the best supports.
If you need to talk to someone, find someone who will listen. Not hear you. But listen. This person does not have to be someone who is a therapist. This could be your best friend. I could not begin to tell you how many times I've called mine and just needed someone to tell me that my world was not crumbling around me, how many times I've just sat in her car and cried without saying anything at all. She listens to every word that I say, she understands what is destroying me, and knows how to pull me back up off the ground. This is the kind of person you want to surround yourself with.
Remember how I said you are not alright? You are not. Right now that is just the depression. But give it some time. Go take a drive, get out of where your four walls confine you and go somewhere you and your thoughts can be free. And remember, when you feel like the world is crumbling, you are hated by everyone, and even by yourself, someone loves you. I don't know you and you don't know me, but I love you.
Sincerely,
The Guy That Depression Can't Beat
