In light of the recent accusations stating that Bob Weinstein is guilty of sexually harassing dozens of women, hundreds of girls across the world have been posting “me too” Facebook statuses to show support for sexual assault victims, as well as to open up about the devastating truth that sexual harassment affects thousands of women each year.

To say I was shocked when I saw the numerous posts from friends of mine would be an understatement. I couldn’t even begin to fathom the large quantity of women I personally knew who had been violated, and on top of that to try and imagine the countless others who didn’t post, and whom I don’t know.

Sexual harassment has been an issue for quite some time now, but no matter how many victims share their stories, for some reason, it’s still happening.

Hopefully, the Weinstein case will bring about change, but it is a shame that something to this degree needs to happen in order for these incidents of harassment to stop.

After scrolling through my news feed, I sat and thought about what it is that causes so many women to find themselves in scary, compromising positions such as these, and one simple conclusion came to me: saying no.

There is no question that the lines of sexual harassment and rape can be blurry, especially when alcohol is involved, but at the end of the day, there is no acceptable excuse to be made when a woman says that she feels she has been violated.

We act like it’s simple: if you’re a woman who doesn’t want to engage in sexual behavior, say no. If you’re a guy trying to get with a girl and she doesn’t seem interested, don’t force it.

Simple enough, right? Or is it?

In today’s culture and society, we are still trying to convince women that it is okay to be assertive. That’s right, not that it’s necessarily a good characteristic, just that it’s acceptable. We have made so much progress in trying to give women the power that they have earned and deserve in society, and yet, we still continue to push for women to be people pleasers.

We teach girls to be polite in society, and that includes saying “yes”. Whether it’s “yes” to prom with the boy who makes you feel uncomfortable, or “yes” to letting a sleazy guy buy you a drink at a bar, we have perpetuated that to be nice means to say “yes.”

Are you still with me? I hope so, because here’s where I must say to every single person reading this –man or woman– it is absolutely okay to assert yourself and say no.

No matter who you are or what kind of position you are in, if you are uncomfortable, you say no and you own that “no”. It’s not just ok to say no. It’s good to say no.

Get comfortable with it.

It is good to say no when your friend asks you to accompany her to a party and you feel uncomfortable; she will find someone else, and you will be spared feeling out of place. It is good to say no to the guy in your biology class who asks to buy you a drink at the bar; he will get over it, and you won’t feel obligated to owe him anything.

Most importantly, it is good to say no to the kid who seems nice and asks you to come back to his place after a long night of drinking. And guess what? If saying no results in any of these people calling you a b*tch, then I guess that’s the price you pay, but it will be worth it.

We have to stop making people-specifically women- feel that there is this obligation to succumb and submit to society and just say yes because we are trying to be polite. In some instances, we should be saying no, and the more that we inform women that it is okay to say no, there will be higher likelihood of a better outcome in these kinds of situations moving forward.

Of course, if you want to say yes, then say yes! Own that “yes” just as much as you would own that “no,” but don’t just say yes because you feel like it’s something you are supposed to say.

Conversely, for those who are placed in a position where someone saying “no” hurts your feelings, remember that they are simply saying no because they feel uncomfortable and aren’t interested. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, it just means that they aren’t feeling it, and that’s okay.

Bottom line, ladies, you’re not a b*tch for saying no. You weren’t a b*tch for saying no in sixth grade when your guy friends asked if they could see what a training bra looks like, and you’re not a b*tch now for declining advances from people who make you uncomfortable.

Unfortunately, even with saying no, these situations will still occur. Although saying “no” might not be able to stop harassment events from occurring, women should feel empowered by recognizing that being polite doesn’t have to conflict with being assertive and clear about your feelings and what you want.

To everyone out there who has been a victim of sexual harassment, know that my heart goes out to you. You are brave, you are strong, and you are an inspiration to the thousands of others around you that it is possible to overcome something so traumatic.

I hope you’ll all stand with me, and help to teach young women –siblings, nieces, kids we babysit for– that no matter what the situation or who the person, if you’re uncomfortable, it is always ok to say “no.”