At every college campus there are characteristics about those who attend that make the campus unique. The University of Cincinnati is no exception. Us Bearcats really embody these characteristics, and it is what makes us, well, Bearcats. So, if you attend the University of Cincinnati and can't relate to any of these items, than you are not a Bearcat.
You're not a Bearcat if...
1. Your Mondays don't consist of Mac Monday.
Half-priced mac and cheese at Keystone are the only thing that make Monday’s bearable. Whether you are down for the original Lovin’ Spoonful, or you completely splurge and eat your weight in the Powerhouse, Mac Monday is the only way to start your week at the University of Cincinnati.
2. You weren’t completely traumatized when Lime went out of business.
OK for real though, Lime literally just got up and left in the middle of the night. It’s like they were just tired of catering to our margarita and burrito needs. For the love of God let’s get a GoFundMe account going and bring them back. It is so sad to walk past the empty store and see that big lime on the front of the store.
3. You didn’t avoid living in Dirty Dabney at all possibilities.
I was assigned to live there my freshman year, and I was willing to tear down that university brick by brick if I had to stay there. Luckily, I moved to Calhoun, but still. That place is absolutely disgusting, and you most certainly are not a Bearcat if you disagree otherwise.
4. Drunken Bento is not on the agenda at least once a week.
I am salivating thinking about this place. Can you say Sunday morning with an extra side of spicy mayo? It could be three in the afternoon, and this place is still popping. And forget about getting a seat in there come midnight on a Friday or Saturday night. Drunken Bento is just one of those places that always sounds good, and you just subconsciously go there as a part of your Bearcat religion.
5. Don’t do the ‘Down the Drive’ cheer at least 1732748 times on any GameDay.
I don’t know what it is about this cheer but as soon as you hear “Hey Cats, let's go UC,” everyone gets lit. If Bearcats had a mating call, it would be this. But you probably don’t go to UC if your arms throw the "U" and "C" in the wrong direction you illiterate idiot. C’mon, it is not that hard.
6. You don’t get excited when you find a free parking spot on campus.
Parking is an absolute nightmare and the police have no mercy when it comes to “illegally” (whatever that means) parking. There is nothing more exciting than when you find a parking spot that is just calling your name. You give no shits when it comes to people honking at you for your atrocious parallel parking attempt, but you know parking is too expensive to pass up this tiny little space that I probably should not park in. We have all given the cars in front and behind us a little “love” if you will because hey, we are all in this together and the "Clifton Bump" is most definitely real.
7. You don’t treat finding a spot in Langsam Library during finals week as "The Hunger Games."
Finals week. Aka the time where people who haven’t stepped foot in Langsam all semester come out to take all of the spots us studious students cherish. People will literally sell their seats and tables as ridiculous as that sounds. I will be the first to admit I have raced and nearly ran over a poor exchange student for a private study room which becomes my humble abode for the next 14 hours. Finding a spot in the library is not for the weak. It takes strategy, stamina and perseverance. May the curve be ever in your favor.
8. You see the West Charlton building on your schedule and instantly die inside.
Anytime 60 West Charlton shows up on your schedule nine times out of 10 you only have 10 minutes to sprint across campus. Seriously, why did the university think it was OK to stick this classroom in the middle of nowhere? Anytime I have a class here I feel instantly bonded to my fellow sprinters because God help us, so we aren’t late to class. By the time you get to this awful place of doom, you have walked all over God’s creation to get here. Not to mention that awful and awkward 90 degree hill by the baseball field you have to power up to get there. By the end of the semester, we all have buns of steel.
9. You don’t harass the freshmen for meal swipes into Market Pointe.
This is where being in a sorority or fraternity comes in handy. You have constant access to freshmen who are too afraid to say no and will hand out their swipes like they are Oprah or something. So save the money and just badger the freshman to swipe you in for "Tender Tuesday."
10. NightRide doesn’t save your lazy butt every weekend.
NightRide, you’re my right hand. You’re my go to. Just know that these students don’t love you like I do (Drake reference, if you didn’t catch my drift). Low key, NightRide saves lives. They are the only reason why any of us can have a social life in the middle of the polar vortex Ohio loves to give us every year. You see some weird stuff, NightRide. You rock, don’t change (but maybe add more vans so the wait time isn’t two hours every time).
