Let me tell you a story. Once I was mindlessly wandering through the labyrinth that is YouTube. This is a hobby of mine. I have pretty much broken up with TV (save for Tuesday nights because, hello, Pretty Little Liars) and replaced it with delightful videos about everyday people going grocery shopping or telling me what they got at the mall. To some it might sound weird, but to me, I can't get enough.
And I stumbled across a reaction video. This video was in reaction to one particular young man and his band of fluffy haired cohorts blabbing about what guys want in girls. The Ideal Girlfriend. The host of this reaction video was so enraged at this boy with fluffy hair that I had to see what started the madness. And oh boy. Oh boy. This video enraged me to the core. I swear the thought I was going projectile vomit lava onto my computer screen. These guys were listing off trait after trait of things a girl should be/do in order to be attractive to them...most of which a person has absolutely no control over whether they have that specific trait. She can't be better at video games than me. She must be brunette. She should sing well. She should keep me on task (What?). She should be outgoing, but not too outgoing...and quiet, but not too quiet...
Again I say: What?!
But that wasn't what got me the most. One of the traits was about body hair. There can't be any of it, at least not on legs, pits, face, or arms.
Really?
Don't even get me started about how these boys in particular were sporting various degrees of facial hair, but literally most men have hair everywhere. Actually, everyone has hair everywhere, but in this day and age it's only culturally appropriate for men to be "hairy".
These boys were actually pretending to wretch on camera at the thought of girls having hair on their arms or peach fuzz on the face.
My first reaction was: If a guy thinks I'm going to shave myself down to a naked mole rat, he's got another thing coming. I do not have that kind of time!
And I went about my day.
As I prepared to take my shower (shampoo, condition, shave) I thought to myself...
Hmm...
Maybe my arm hair is kind of ugly...I don't want to look like an ape woman...
Oh yes. I did shave my arms.
At first I liked it. I thought it felt so velvety smooth and looked so pretty with my tan. I was a bronzed sun goddess with bald arms and I felt great.
This went on for several more months.
Sigh.
I didn't have some epiphany after that. No "AH HA!" moments. Now I’m not bashing a girl who appreciates a nice smooth arm, but for me, I gradually came to the realization that the reason I was doing this was wrong. My job as a woman, as a human, is not to cater to how other people think I should look. My purpose in life is not to look attractive. I want to be a passionate, kind, ambitious person a thousand percent more than I want to be a beautiful one. That's what my mind tells me at least, but my heart says otherwise.
My heart says "listen to the fluffy haired boys with stupid hats, they represent the boys in your generation. If you want to be accepted, you should listen to the culture."
The culture that tells me I'm only as valuable as I am put together physically. And that is so so wrong, sick even.
The truth is, there is no secret formula that will magically transform you into every boy’s dream girl. There is no list of rules that can be followed that guarantees every guy will fall to his knees in utter adoration, but that is ok. In fact, that is amazing. There would be no loveable quirks or dark horse originality if everyone abided a series of guidelines, ensuring likeability. Besides, how stressful would it be knowing that the love of your significant other rests solely upon the fact that you happen to have hair that looks good even when its windy or skinny thighs? One too many cupcakes or an unfortunate case of hat hair and you’re out the door? Any guy worth knowing is going to accept you and love you because of your sparkling wit, your ambition, your intelligence, your creativity, your passion, and your kindness. Everything else is just icing on the cake, friends.
P.S. But for real, if anybody knows how to rock the windblown look, please share your secrets. Thanks.
