Sometimes in your twenties, you learn a lot more than you think you do. After all, that’s what life is all about right? Learning lessons and making mistakes, only to learn from those mistakes a time or two again. But the part that nobody tells you is that you should draw a line sometimes, somewhere, to protect yourself. Now obviously I am not saying never trust anyone or never open up to people, because that’s not a good way to live your life, in constant fear of being hurt all the time.
However, it is okay to be selective in the people that you do open up to, and it is okay to not trust people that you feel did not earn your trust. This being said, in light of recent events in my life, people have certainly shown their true colors, and what it means to them to be a “friend.” Friends should be understanding of each other, supportive, and uplifting. Not negative, pushing you down, and making you feel awful about your choices in life all the time, like when you’re trying to do the right thing.
Since turning 20 and making my own choices, I have learned this lesson, more than once. I have learned that it is completely okay to not let certain people back into my life. It is okay to let go of the people that have been in it, and do not deserve to be. It is okay to forgive people for their wrong-doings, and actually I suggest you do if you feel it is the right thing to do. Remember though, that some things cannot be forgiven. I think that to forgive people, gives a sense of relief, but I will never forget, as I suggest you do not forget either.
There comes a point in life when you have to move on. You have to let go. Let go of the toxic relationships in your life, and make room for those who genuinely want to share their life with you, and learn about your life. The things you’ve been through, the hurt you’ve endured, and choices you make and why you make them. When you’re in your twenties, it is important to find these people. The ones that you will befriend for the rest of your life. The friends that are going to be in your wedding, sharing nothing but love with you on your special day. The friends that stay up with you all night studying for that board exam you have in the morning. The friends that you know you can count on to be there for you, regardless of what they have happening in life. Friends that will drop what they are doing to be with you in any moment, good or bad.
But it is important to be that friend to someone else too. That old saying that our parents always told us, something like, “treat others how you want to be treated,” well it turns out to be true. We cannot be awful people to others and expect them to be nice to us. And sometimes, we just need to recognize that saying sorry, isn’t always going to be the answer. There are somethings that cannot be forgiven. Things that will hinder the way a person thinks or feels about themselves for the rest of their lives. I’ve been there. I’ve been unable to forgive people, but now, in my twenties, I have realized the greatest release: YOU DO NOT HAVE TO FORGIVE PEOPLE IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO! YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LET THEM CONTROL HOW YOU THINK OR FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! Because guess what, YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON! And chances are, they haven’t wasted one second thinking about how awful they were to you, so why spend your time thinking about them?
The people who have done you wrong, have probably done wrong by others. This is on them. They are going to have to live with who they are for the rest of their lives. They are going to have to live with the fact that they have ruined other peoples’ lives. NOT YOU! You do not have to carry this burden. You can be free. You can let go. You can live your life. And I hope that everyone carrying this burden around, can now be free from it. Realize all the good you can do by being treated badly in the past. Turn it into something that made you stronger, not something that brings you down. Show everyone the person you have become, and all the good you will do in your life. Be your own light. Build yourself up.
Most importantly, everyone, and I really do mean everyone, needs to learn to love themselves above all else. Love the person you are, the person you’ve become, and the person you turn out to be.
