Your Friends Want You To Be Happy, So Stop Saying Sorry

Your Friends Want You To Be Happy, So Stop Saying Sorry

You’re hurting so you need a friend for help and that's okay.
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You no longer have to apologize. Everyone is going through something. You’re just as valid and important as the next person. (Obviously seeking advice/a listening ear is vastly different from constantly complaining nonsensically, so please understand the difference).

You’re self-conscious to the point that you’re apologizing for problems in your life that you can’t control. You believe that by having issues you are being a nuisance to others. But throughout life, everyone is going through struggles that they can’t handle alone. Everyone needs a friend to support them. Apologizing for having issues is essentially you saying “I’m sorry for existing.'

But why?

Why do you feel the need to apologize for yourself? Apologies are supposed to be used for when you’ve hurt someone. But how has “having problems” hurt a friend?

I used to feel this way. I felt sorry towards anyone and everyone who had to “deal” with me. I used to write out text messages asking for advice but then never send them because I didn't want to be a burden. I even remember saying, “I’m sorry that I'm wasting your time” or “I'm sorry that I'm bothering you."

However, I didn't appreciate something crucial in my relationship with them.

I didn’t believe my problems were valid enough. I didn’t believe my friends cared about my happiness. I didn’t believe I was important to my own friends.

But this wasn’t true. Believe me when I tell you there is nothing more frustrating to a friend than to think you aren’t important to them. At the end of the day, the only apology you should be saying is “I’m sorry I didn’t think you cared about what I was going through” or “I’m sorry that I thought so lowly of this friendship."

Don’t be sorry for things you can’t control. If you don’t expect someone to be sorry for the circumstances beyond their reach, then you shouldn’t be either. If your friend can’t stand to hear your issues, then maybe it’s time to rethink that friendship because there are people in this world who care about your happiness, believe your problems are worth a listen and want to be there for you.

Don’t ever be sorry to ask for help. I guarantee you, a friend is waiting, willing to listen.

Cover Image Credit: Kaylin Malinit

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How To Cope With A Best Friend Breakup


Breaking up with a boyfriend is one thing, but breaking up with your best friend is a whole new level of heartbreak.

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We all know breakups can be tough, but when that breakup happens to be between you and your best friend, things reach a new level of heartbreak. I met my best friend junior year of high school after our Spanish teacher randomly assigned us to be partners; we struggled so much in that class but in the end, we truly became inseparable. When senior year rolled around we were still close as ever; people would often joke that we were sisters because we looked and acted so much alike. We would go on little dates together, go to parties together, and were always the first person we called when something "major happened."

When my best friend's boyfriend of four years cheated on her while we were spring breaking in Europe, it became my duty to make her feel better; I would randomly drop off flowers and little notes to her house, spend countless hours just listening to her cry and vent, and even stopped talking to people associated with her boyfriend so as to show my "support." All of these things were no big deal to me considering I loved this girl like a sister; whatever she needed I was there to give that to her.

Things soon took a sharp turn when we entered not only the same college but the same sorority. While I was struggling with the social aspect of FSU, my best friend soon found new best friends. When I started having major issues with my boyfriend, I would automatically text/call my best friend as she did with me, but instead of support, I got the sense that she was passive and uninterested. Our little dates and goofy inside jokes disappeared and reappeared between her and her new friends, and my comfortableness around her soon turned into insecurity.

Coming to terms with the fact that the girl I knew everything about is now basically a stranger was a hard one to overcome; I didn't want to accept the fact that my best friend decided it was time to find new ones. It's heartbreaking knowing that the special things you shared with a person are now being shared with others, and it's hard to accept the fact that you aren't wanted or needed by the one person you thought would be by your side forever.

Since school has ended I think I have accepted the fact that we're no longer what we used to be. Of course, it still stings when I see social media posts with her new, college friends, but I just have to remind myself that this is part of life and I just have to move on. I will forever cherish the memories I made with her, but it's time to acknowledge that they were made with someone in my past, not with someone in my present.

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