Your Friends Want You To Be Happy, So Stop Saying Sorry

Your Friends Want You To Be Happy, So Stop Saying Sorry

You’re hurting so you need a friend for help and that's okay.
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You no longer have to apologize. Everyone is going through something. You’re just as valid and important as the next person. (Obviously seeking advice/a listening ear is vastly different from constantly complaining nonsensically, so please understand the difference).

You’re self-conscious to the point that you’re apologizing for problems in your life that you can’t control. You believe that by having issues you are being a nuisance to others. But throughout life, everyone is going through struggles that they can’t handle alone. Everyone needs a friend to support them. Apologizing for having issues is essentially you saying “I’m sorry for existing.'

But why?

Why do you feel the need to apologize for yourself? Apologies are supposed to be used for when you’ve hurt someone. But how has “having problems” hurt a friend?

I used to feel this way. I felt sorry towards anyone and everyone who had to “deal” with me. I used to write out text messages asking for advice but then never send them because I didn't want to be a burden. I even remember saying, “I’m sorry that I'm wasting your time” or “I'm sorry that I'm bothering you."

However, I didn't appreciate something crucial in my relationship with them.

I didn’t believe my problems were valid enough. I didn’t believe my friends cared about my happiness. I didn’t believe I was important to my own friends.

But this wasn’t true. Believe me when I tell you there is nothing more frustrating to a friend than to think you aren’t important to them. At the end of the day, the only apology you should be saying is “I’m sorry I didn’t think you cared about what I was going through” or “I’m sorry that I thought so lowly of this friendship."

Don’t be sorry for things you can’t control. If you don’t expect someone to be sorry for the circumstances beyond their reach, then you shouldn’t be either. If your friend can’t stand to hear your issues, then maybe it’s time to rethink that friendship because there are people in this world who care about your happiness, believe your problems are worth a listen and want to be there for you.

Don’t ever be sorry to ask for help. I guarantee you, a friend is waiting, willing to listen.

Cover Image Credit: Kaylin Malinit

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To The Parent Who Chose Addiction

Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.

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When I was younger I resented you, I hated every ounce of you, and I used to question why God would give me a parent like you. Not now. Now I see the beauty and the blessings behind having an addict for a parent. If you're reading this, it isn't meant to hurt you, but rather to thank you.

Thank you for choosing your addiction over me.

Throughout my life, you have always chosen the addiction over my programs, my swim meets or even a simple movie night. You joke about it now or act as if I never questioned if you would wake up the next morning from your pill and alcohol-induced sleep, but I thank you for this. I thank you because I gained a relationship with God. The amount of time I spent praying for you strengthened our relationship in ways I could never explain.

SEE ALSO: They're Not Junkies, You're Just Uneducated

Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.

The amount of hurt and disappointment our family has gone through has brought us closer together. I have a relationship with Nanny and Pop that would never be as strong as it is today if you had been in the picture from day one. That in itself is a blessing.

Thank you for showing me how to love.

From your absence, I have learned how to love unconditionally. I want you to know that even though you weren't here, I love you most of all. No matter the amount of heartbreak, tears, and pain I've felt, you will always be my greatest love.

Thank you for making me strong.

Thank you for leaving and for showing me how to be independent. From you, I have learned that I do not need anyone else to prove to me that I am worthy of being loved. From you, I have learned that life is always hard, but you shouldn't give into the things that make you feel good for a short while, but should search for the real happiness in life.

Most of all, thank you for showing me how to turn my hurt into motivation.

I have learned that the cycle of addiction is not something that will continue into my life. You have hurt me more than anyone, but through that hurt, I have pushed myself to become the best version of myself.

Thank you for choosing the addiction over me because you've made me stronger, wiser, and loving than I ever could've been before.

Cover Image Credit: http://crashingintolove.tumblr.com/post/62246881826/pieffysessanta-tumblr-com

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Four Quarters Will Always Be Better Than Ten Dimes, And I'm Not Talking About Spare Change

Quality over quantity any damn day.

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"You would rather have four quarters than 10 dimes, 20 nickels, or 100 pennies," is a phrase that at first glance would seem to just be about money. But it actually contains a deeper meaning that could definitely serve as good advice when it comes to the friendships you have in your life.

As an ambivert, I have always found myself happier when I surrounded myself with a large group of friends. It gives you a sense of belonging, something that is a proven innate human desire. Having large groups can be fun, but they also equally have the chance of being toxic for you. There's no point in surrounding yourself with individuals if, at the end of the day, they don't make you happy. Often times you'll hang out with people just because you crave company, but not THEIR company. There is a very important distinction.

Don't let your loneliness or your desire for more friends allow you to be consumed into toxic friendships. Because I have been there and done that. Many times. It's not a fun experience. It took me time to learn, but I have learned the valuable lesson of less being more. When you eliminate extraneous beings from your life, you have more time to focus on your more important relationships and the most crucial one of all, the one you have with yourself.

I am very blessed to say that people that I am close to in my life genuinely care for me and my happiness because this was not always the case. It takes a lot of trial and error, and also greatly impacts your mental health, but finding the right friend group for you is definitely life-changing.

Choose your friends wisely, you don't want a wallet full of useless change.

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