Your Friends Want You To Be Happy, So Stop Saying Sorry

Your Friends Want You To Be Happy, So Stop Saying Sorry

You’re hurting so you need a friend for help and that's okay.
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You no longer have to apologize. Everyone is going through something. You’re just as valid and important as the next person. (Obviously seeking advice/a listening ear is vastly different from constantly complaining nonsensically, so please understand the difference).

You’re self-conscious to the point that you’re apologizing for problems in your life that you can’t control. You believe that by having issues you are being a nuisance to others. But throughout life, everyone is going through struggles that they can’t handle alone. Everyone needs a friend to support them. Apologizing for having issues is essentially you saying “I’m sorry for existing.'

But why?

Why do you feel the need to apologize for yourself? Apologies are supposed to be used for when you’ve hurt someone. But how has “having problems” hurt a friend?

I used to feel this way. I felt sorry towards anyone and everyone who had to “deal” with me. I used to write out text messages asking for advice but then never send them because I didn't want to be a burden. I even remember saying, “I’m sorry that I'm wasting your time” or “I'm sorry that I'm bothering you."

However, I didn't appreciate something crucial in my relationship with them.

I didn’t believe my problems were valid enough. I didn’t believe my friends cared about my happiness. I didn’t believe I was important to my own friends.

But this wasn’t true. Believe me when I tell you there is nothing more frustrating to a friend than to think you aren’t important to them. At the end of the day, the only apology you should be saying is “I’m sorry I didn’t think you cared about what I was going through” or “I’m sorry that I thought so lowly of this friendship."

Don’t be sorry for things you can’t control. If you don’t expect someone to be sorry for the circumstances beyond their reach, then you shouldn’t be either. If your friend can’t stand to hear your issues, then maybe it’s time to rethink that friendship because there are people in this world who care about your happiness, believe your problems are worth a listen and want to be there for you.

Don’t ever be sorry to ask for help. I guarantee you, a friend is waiting, willing to listen.

Cover Image Credit: Kaylin Malinit

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A Letter To My Best Friend On Valentine's Day

Because you are my ultimate Valentine.
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To my beautiful best friend,

Warning: This letter is about to get extremely cheesy. I am talking four cheese lasagna cheesy. But no one deserves a love letter like this more than you do.

This Valentine’s Day, I want to express my love for you. On this wondrous occasion with which most people express their love to their significant other, I want to tell you, my best friend, how much I cherish our friendship.

SEE ALSO: A Valentine's Day Love Letter To My Girl Best Friends

You are the ultimate love of my life. Boys have come and gone but you remain a constant; for that I am grateful. You have been there for me when my family could not be; for that I am grateful. You have been my backbone, my rock, and all those other clichés people use to describe the people they care about, and yet you have been so much more than that as well; for that I am grateful.

All my love this Valentine’s Day goes out to you, my friend, because you do not receive it enough. You have picked me up out of the dirt, brushed me off, and kissed my wounds more times than I can count, and I will never be able to thank you enough for that, but I am sure am going to try.

Thank you for the midnight cries. Thank you for the midnight laughs. Thank you for ordering way too much food with me and still just eating it all. Thank you for the advice, both solicited and unsolicited. Thank you for telling me what I need to hear, even when it isn’t what I want to hear. Thank you for the silly pictures. Thank you for the stupid inside jokes. Thank you for making bad decisions with me. Thank you for laughing with me and laughing at me. Thank you for the endless memories.

SEE ALSO: An Open Letter to the Best Friend I've Ever Had

More than anything, I want you to know that I love you. I love you. You are the family I get to choose, the one I go to when I have nowhere else to turn. You are the one I know I can always run to, whether we saw each other yesterday or haven’t seen each other in a year. You have played a part in molding who I am as a person, and I am so grateful for having such an amazing person affecting my life in such a positive way.

With all the love in my heart,

Your friend
Cover Image Credit: https://www.facebook.com/natalie.pederson.5/photos

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To The Friends I Can Be Myself Around

An open letter to those whose friendships I value more than a pint of Graeter's ice cream.

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There are those friends I love and care about deeply, but cannot be my true self around. Someone asked me before, "How can you call someone your friend if you can't be yourself around them?" I don't change myself to accommodate them or act in a manner unnatural to me — I just don't show them some sides of me. Growing up, some of my friends did not understand how I could ever want to write books or how I could love reading so much, so I learned at a young age to keep that side of me to myself. And yes, those are important parts of me, but my friends who did not understand it did accept it, and that was enough. Some thought it bizarre and humorous I love Celtic instrumental music or said some hurtful things about what I love that I realize now wasn't okay. But at the end of the day, there is love between us and common ground where I just remember to not mention some things.

Then there are those friends I can be my complete, unapologetic, authentic self with. The ones who support and encourage you to chase your dreams, even if they don't understand them. The ones who you can cry to about something silly, say whatever is on your mind without regretting it, and who thinks it's preposterous you refuse to fart in their presence because your other friends would give you crap for it (pun intended, and also true story). The ones you stay up late into the night talking about philosophy and crushes until your voices begin to rasp. The ones who are the closest to your heart.

I want to say thank you to these brilliant, caring, beautiful friends, new and old. Your love and support has helped me at all times, through the good and the bad and the boring. I only hope to be the same friend to you, to be open-minded, supportive, and enthusiastic. I believe it is important to cultivate a wide range of friends and support, but many of the friendships I mention earlier will most likely only be kept alive through memories; ours will last many lives to come. I look forward to growing old with you all and growing together.

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