You no longer have to apologize. Everyone is going through something. You’re just as valid and important as the next person. (Obviously seeking advice/a listening ear is vastly different from constantly complaining nonsensically, so please understand the difference).

You’re self-conscious to the point that you’re apologizing for problems in your life that you can’t control. You believe that by having issues you are being a nuisance to others. But throughout life, everyone is going through struggles that they can’t handle alone. Everyone needs a friend to support them. Apologizing for having issues is essentially you saying “I’m sorry for existing.'

But why?

Why do you feel the need to apologize for yourself? Apologies are supposed to be used for when you’ve hurt someone. But how has “having problems” hurt a friend?

I used to feel this way. I felt sorry towards anyone and everyone who had to “deal” with me. I used to write out text messages asking for advice but then never send them because I didn't want to be a burden. I even remember saying, “I’m sorry that I'm wasting your time” or “I'm sorry that I'm bothering you."

However, I didn't appreciate something crucial in my relationship with them.

I didn’t believe my problems were valid enough. I didn’t believe my friends cared about my happiness. I didn’t believe I was important to my own friends.

But this wasn’t true. Believe me when I tell you there is nothing more frustrating to a friend than to think you aren’t important to them. At the end of the day, the only apology you should be saying is “I’m sorry I didn’t think you cared about what I was going through” or “I’m sorry that I thought so lowly of this friendship."

Don’t be sorry for things you can’t control. If you don’t expect someone to be sorry for the circumstances beyond their reach, then you shouldn’t be either. If your friend can’t stand to hear your issues, then maybe it’s time to rethink that friendship because there are people in this world who care about your happiness, believe your problems are worth a listen and want to be there for you.

Don’t ever be sorry to ask for help. I guarantee you, a friend is waiting, willing to listen.