1. It’s your freshman year at a brand new university.

As you’re unpacking the last of your suitcases, you can’t help but think how lucky you are to be here. Your 18-year-old, 120 pound body is not yet in tune with the absolute mayhem that is about to ensue. But as you kiss your mom and dad goodbye and send them back to Smallville, USA, you can’t help but cry a little because they're so cute, and you know they're helpless without your millennial skills.

2. As you learn how to do laundry in the shitty machines your school supplies, survive the dining hall (and the exceptionally loud girl from your floor screaming at you), and pull your first all-nighter, you wish you could go back to a simpler time of, y'know, your mom doing everything for you.

3. Then, one night, your roomie invites you to a party.

You obviously don't want to disappoint, but it's a Thursday night. Like, you have classes tomorrow. Still, you put on something your father would faint at the sight of and haul ass out of your nasty smelling dorm (floor-mates who make disgusting food in the microwave, hello!) and into some pledge's car. As he drives you to the party, you're feeling pretty good about the poor decisions that are about to occur.

4.Here starts the beginning of your hung over class escapades. Hello, water & ibuprofen.

5.Over the months, you try to keep in touch with high school friends to little avail.

Going to schools 200 miles apart is a little difficult. Your best friend, who is incredibly smart and beautiful, has seemingly fallen off of Planet Earth. When you do talk, you find out that she changed her lifelong dream studies from criminal justice to film and you feel like reality is broken.

6.You begin to make new friends, though.

Through classes, parties, and mutual friends, you now have a group of 6 people you kind of know (their majors and their favorite drink, most likely). You casually hang out but don't really have anyone that knows everything about you, which reminds you that your parents have called you about 9 times this week.

7.You return home for Winter Break and feel like nothing is the same.

You've seen things, like Ramen left in the microwave too long--you've been in dirty frat basements. You've literally e-mailed your professor begging to bump you up from an 83 to a 90 in a true state of mental breakage. Your GPA is only half the giant it was in high school, but you're just happy you are finally home and able to eat a meal that hasn't been frozen.

8.Back at it again, second semester.

You are going to find true love if it kills you. At yet another party, you meet some frat lord and in your drunken stupor and exchange numbers. At first, you feel so excited to be getting attention from a super cute guy in a top house.

9.Then weeks pass with him texting you less and less, and you realize that he has hella ghosted you.

10.During your "not" breakup stage, you dig through 5 pizzas and a Netflix binge, telling your high school body to stop mocking you. You'll go to the gym tomorrow, YOU SWEAR.

11.Somehow, the days have gone by, and you've come to Spring Break, and you shout in happiness.

12.And in the blink of an eye, you've taken your last final of your Freshman year, packed your stuff up, and caught a ride back to your hometown through a friend.

You've had many almost relationships, an ongoing feud with the loud girl from your dorm, met girls that you're going to share an apartment with next year, and decided on a major. Now for sophomore year, the "fall through the cracks" year!

BONUS ROUND: Formal Recruitment