From all that studying of interpersonal communication (relationships, HA), I learned that friendship is a connection driven by interest.When we think a best friend, the concept of someone who brings out the very best version of yourself comes to mind. I've lost friendships because I thought this person was my best friend but the feeling was not mutual. Finding a true blue best friend takes time and usually happens by chance followed by choice. My best friend showed up out of nowhere and launched the start of something beautiful.
This is Taylor Pulizzi. First impression? I saw her as this gorgeous specimen who sat across from me in a classroom with no idea who she was. Our friendship didn’t really commence until the very next semester when she was relieved to recognize a face in our Communication Theory class, meanwhile, I was surprised that someone sat next to me at the very front. We later began stirring up deep, deep wells through dance ministry with our matching blue toenails then started a snap streak during the brink of finals week that is 282 days strong and still intact to this day.
Summer breezed in, so the winds of change swooped in with the first of many sappy text messages on National Best Friend Day and then I’m crying in the car four hours later because I was infatuated with words of affirmation. She’s honestly been one of my biggest fans, next to Jesus & my mom. Not saying that I didn't have friends before or that she's the only friendship that I cherish. I just know that God has worked causing me to discover what real love is from this friendship & apply what I've learned to benefit other relationships.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”- Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 ESV
If a friendship consistently leaves you feeling worse after spending time together, it might be time to reconsider the value of that relationship. I know sure enough that one-sided friendships absolutely suck because, sometimes, we expect more from others knowing that we would be willing to do that much more for them. In that, we become mentally and emotionally drained because anxiety, depression, and overthinking have clouded our perception. If you are meant to be best friends with this person, you'll know it and won't feel the need to ask them if they think you two are BFFs.
Here's the thing: we are all created to have relationships. It's not good to set up a lifestyle where guarded and isolated all of the time because that is where the enemy comes to attack and becomes your best friend; he'll begin to speak his native language of lies in order to stop you from reaching your purpose. Healthy friendships ripen from mutual affection & form the social fabric of our lives. You can tell if a relationship is from God if that relationship is helping you.
It’s been said that the friendships you make in your first three weeks of college are set to last a lifetime. She didn’t show up until I was halfway done with college and now she’s my go-to person for anything. I’m not the same person because of her. I never feel like I’m in competition for her love, she doesn’t blow me off or leaves me hanging. I’m thankful that our paths cross because it feels amazing to find someone who accepts my flaws on top of embracing the sweet simplicity of who I am unconditionally.
Finding your best friend is like finding a piece that you didn’t even know you were missing. I don’t deserve this radiant human being but there’s no way that I’m giving her back. Thank you, Taylor, for being the Justin Timberlake to my Jimmy Fallon.