Your Average Girl

Your Average Girl

A personal essay of a college freshman.

Once upon a time, just as any other story begins, there lived an average girl who lived in an average town, lived an average life with an average name, average job, average family, and an average group of friends. At 18, I was living the average American dream of the average American teenager. It was the beginning of the summer and I was excited to start my freshman year of college but even more excited to start my new summer job. I was as happy as any other average girl.

However, it turns out that everything you just read was a complete lie.

One counseling trip after another. This was my third one this week, next week starts the two a week sessions then after that they’re going to wean me off of the counseling all together. I’m only 13 years old, why am I going through this? I don’t want anyone to care about me or force me to talk to someone that’s paid to care about my problems. I shouldn’t have problems. I’m too young. I don’t want to have depression. I don’t want to take medicine my whole life. I don’t want a lot of things that I have now, step parents, a new school, a new house, new friends. This is too much change. I just want to be average.

From the time I was born everyone always told me how special I am, how different I am. They always said that I’m going to “do great things” and “change the world”. I don’t see myself doing that. I see myself as average, just trying to get by, but my family and friends see me making a big difference. At 16 years old, I started a youth group in my town for the kids who didn’t have anything better to do and didn’t have any place better to go; so the kids like me. I gathered them all into the basement of a popular church in our town and we played games and watched movies and talked about God. The older people thought I was this excellent leader, saw that I was “changing” these kids, perhaps even making an impact on our community. Then I broke down.

I was always a girl with the perfect amount of friends. I had my best friends, my school friends, my sports friends, the people I just talked to sometimes, and a boyfriend. I was always surrounded by people that cared about me and I cared about them. I was always the listener for these many different types of friends. I had people tell me their problems about everything from people dying, to their dog running away. I heard it all. People always put their trust in me. For years of my life I was always the free therapist that everyone placed their problems onto and expected me not to have problems of my own. I became everyone’s best friend. Then I broke down.

I had this boyfriend and when you’re 15 years old, you think you’re going to spend the rest of your life with this boy. We were high school sweethearts, we were together until the end. People said we had the perfect relationship, we were the couple who was “going to make it”. We never fought, never called each other names, or even had a misunderstanding about anything. Our families loved us together and they would even joke about “when’s the wedding”. After high school, we got a puppy together and thought this was the perfect thing to do to start a little “family” ourselves. We were perfect, things were perfect. Then we broke down.

When you’re told that you’re perfect, it gives you a lot of pressure to live up to that. It’s the beginning of summer and I have nothing to live for. I’m average, or I like to think of myself that way. No one says great things about me anymore. No one talks about how I’m going to “do great things” or that I’m their “best friend” and certainly no one dares to speak about my “perfect” relationship. Since I have nothing better to do and no better place to be, I work 60 hours a week. My “friends” are now just the people I work with and I don’t see anyone else. I barely talk to them because there’s not much to talk about when you’re trapped in a hot pizza shop all day. There’s a lot to think about when you’re trapped there all day. Then, I broke down.

“What do you need?”


“I can’t give you that.”

“I know.” I feel guilty that I can say this to him. We’ve been together since high school and I’m still not giving him any insight to how I really feel. I’m not happy or sad. I’m not confused but I don’t understand either. I’m not angry. I’m not hurt. I don’t smile much, but I smile enough. I don’t look for conversation but I end up saying too much. Then I’m quiet when I shouldn’t be. I’m not a leader. I’m not a listener. I’m not the perfect girlfriend. I’m just average.

“I’m breaking down.”

“You’re the strongest person I know.”

College is really hard for me. I’m a nobody. People look over me, through me, and around me. I have less friends than I did at work which was even less than I had in high school. I lost everything. I’m away from my family and the people who’ve always held me so high. I’m not physically away from my boyfriend, but emotionally, we’re miles apart. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression, but today, those are just average things of the average college student. I find myself drifting off thinking about the way things were when I was going to “make a difference”. I try to picture myself helping people again, being a listener, being a friend. I became this stranger to everyone including myself. I blend in with the thousands of other students here. I’m too average.

Average : adjective : typical, common, or ordinary

Cover Image Credit: Zierra Treshock

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Sorry, not sorry.


Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

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Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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'Taste The Rainbow' But Not Because Skittles Said To

The health benefits of eating a wide range of fruits and vegetables


Does everyone know that fruits and vegetables are good for you, but do you know why they are considered to be nutritious?

Some may believe the answer is because they have low caloric value, which isn't wrong but they provide so much more. They possess phytochemicals.

Phytochemicals are naturally occurring compounds found in plant foods that provide the fruit and vegetables their color, taste, and odor. More than that, each phytochemical comes with its health benefits.

There are seven mechanisms of action or ways that phytochemicals are beneficial to our health.

They can either act as antioxidants which help to prevent damage to healthy cells, anti-inflammatory, chemo-preventative, support our immune system, trigger apoptosis or programmed cell death, protect our DNA, regulate hormones and finally, some may have the ability for specific actions, such as inhibiting the growth of bad bacteria.

Below is a list of phytochemicals:

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Carotene, when ingested, is converted into Vitamin A that your body can easily absorb and utilize. Carotene has been scientifically proven to help eye and heart health as well as support our immune system by acting as an antioxidant, anti-inflammatory and possessing chemo-preventive factors.

2. Lycopene 

Think tomatoes. The phytochemical lycopene is responsible for the red color in whole plant foods. The health effects are acting as antioxidants, anti-inflammatory, chemo-preventative but also good for DNA and urinary tract health. What's cool about lycopene is that no matter how you prepare your food, you don't lose any of the nutrients.

3. Chlorophyll 

Eat your greens. Chlorophyll-rich foods appear green. Some excellent sources include dark leafy greens and broccoli. Chlorophyll, like the other phytochemicals are known to be antioxidants, anti-inflammatory and chemo-preventative. Choosing foods that have a rich and vibrant color indicate that is a good source of that phytochemical.

So, next time you're in the produce aisle, be sure to choose your colors wisely.

4. Anthocyanin

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The color purple. Just as every phytochemical mentioned, resveratrol contains antioxidants, anti-inflammatory and chemo-preventative agents. That's the beauty of phytochemicals. Reservartrol also takes it a step further to help brain and bone health. Studies have proven that eating foods rich in resevatrol also help to protect against age-related diseases.

If you want to learn more about the health benefits of phytochemicals, please check out this wonderful book!

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