You know when you meet someone, and you fall for them, and you think "crap, this is gonna hurt like hell when they leave?" Yeah, this is one of those times.

I was a sophomore in high school when this boy came into my life...well again, I guess. But when I met him, I never knew how important he would become to me. He started out as just some jock, you know the one that would smile at you in the halls, or wink at you after telling some stupid joke. I had a boyfriend at the time, so all his smiles and jokes, were just that, smiles and jokes. But he soon became one of my best friends, and he was the person I started telling jokes too, and smiling back at in the halls, and he was my go-to person for all my stories, besides my boyfriend of course. He wasn't a threat at all to my boyfriend, I'm not the type of person who would ever do anything like that, but when things got rocky with the bf, the other guy was the one I ran to, to talk to about what was going on. He and my boyfriend were friends, and so he was always up for giving advice on how to fix things, but when it got worse, we were both at a loss for words on how to fix it. Eventually my boyfriend and I broke up because it just wasn't working, and the other guy and I were becoming closer.

Unfortunately, he was two years older than I was so he was graduating soon. When we were just becoming close, he was going to be leaving. He didn't have a plan set out for college yet, as in he knew he was going, he just didn't know where. But you know when you meet someone and you know they're going to be great and do all these amazing things and you just can't wait to see it all? That was me. I was so excited for him the closer I got. I couldn't wait to see all the amazing things he was going to do and become, and I was so excited that I was in his life to see it. As graduation neared, though, I was even more scared that I wouldn't see him and that our friendship that we built was going to fall apart, but I guess the only reason I was scared of that was because my feelings for him were thought he roof, no matter how much I wanted to deny it. He was such an incredible human. And as my feelings for him kept growing, the time nearing graduating kept decreasing. Before I knew it, I found myself at my friends house redoing my makeup for the third time because I couldn't stop crying the morning of graduation.

I watched him walk, I took pictures, talked to his family, and left, and felt so incredibly saddened by it. I was so happy for him and all he had accomplished, but I didn't want him to go. I mean we had all summer, but I knew that once he was off to college he was going to meet so many amazing people. Which also made me happy, but I was going to be stuck here. It was such a weird feeling, cause I don't think I'd ever felt this way towards someone, and we weren't even dating.

But the summer flew by, and he was off to college, luckily only commuting, and I saw him a lot more than I ever expected. We saw each other, went to events with each other, and all of these other things, but we still weren't together. And soon, we just stopped talking, all together, and it was honestly the worst feeling.

I can't explain why it sucked so much, why it hurt when he just disappeared, but it did. And to be honest, if he were to show up on my doorstep and ask for me, I'd go running into his arms. He was never mine, but he had this way of making me feel special. It's weird thinking back on us, it was one of those weird relationships, where everyone including yourselves, thinks you're going to end up together but you just don't. And I'm still young, so I still have a lot of people to meet, but so far no one's made me feel the way he has. No one's made me laugh the way he has, or cry the way he has. I think that's why he'll always hold a special place in my heart, and always have a little piece of me, I'll never be able to forget how alive he made me feel. But I'm thankful for it all in the end, because even though he's gone, I know what I want, and I know what to look for in the future.