They say time heals all wounds, but there is something about losing a loved one that doesn't seem to ever go away. There seems to always be a first, always be a time when you wish they were standing beside you, and days when you miss them more than regular.

I lost my grandfather when I was eight, and of course, there was the first birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. without him. As I grow older, though, those types of things aren't what really makes me wish that he was here.

It's the moments like wishing he was sitting in his big green chair, where you would find him any day sitting there with his big toothy grin, listening to me tell him about my future dreams and helping me decide where I want to teach. It's the days where I wish he could be there cheering me on in the stands as a play in my games, because when he was here I wasn't really into sports yet- and he loved sports. The days where I'm sitting there telling my brother memories that circle around in my head about him, because my brother didn't get the chance to meet my grandfather.

Then there's the future. When I think about my wedding day, and how he won't be sitting there. The day when I have kids, they'll only know their great grandfather has a memory that I share with them.

As I think about all these things, I can't help but think "you should be here". He helped form my family. He was the center of all of our family gatherings. Everyone in our town knew him, respected him, and loved him. He should be here. He should be here to watch his family grow, to see his beautiful grand-babies he never got to meet, or the great-grandchildren that have come after he passed.

I know I'm not alone in this wishing that a loved on was here. There are hearts that hurt all over the world, and minds that think over and over again- "you should be here."

But as I think these things and my heart breaks with these thoughts, I am reminded of a sweet truth. He is here. He's here in my memories. He's here in the Bible that I have in my room that once belonged to him. He's here in the verse that he underlined in that Bible, John 3:30, and when I read it I'm reminded of him.

He's here when our family gets together and shares stories of him. He's here in my dad and uncle's faces - when they smile and their eyes squint up like he once did. He's here in my aunt's sweet laugh, the way his once filled the room. He's here in the way my grandmother loves and holds my family together, the way he once did.

The thing that reigns true is that I truly believe he is here watching over my family and smiling at all the things we're saying, "you should be here" for.

So no, time doesn't heal all wounds. The hurt of losing a loved one never truly goes entirely away. But what also doesn't go away are the memories and knowing that they're still looking out for you. What doesn't go away is the sweet feeling you get when you think of them. What doesn't go away is the love they gave you that filled your heart because that love is something that will stand forever.